From Snowstorms to 21st Century Technology

This is going to be one of those random tangent-type of posts, so roll with me on this one.

Yesterday brought the first real major snowstorm into the Baltimore/DC/Northern Virginia area. My immediate area was hit with about 5 inches of snow, but Baltimore got close to double that. Areas further north than that, namely New York City, got well over a foot of snow. It wasn't quite as bad as last year's apocalyptic blizzard, but then anything would have been better than that.

Most offices in my area were letting their employees go early due to the storm, but I was stuck at work till after 5:00 wrapping up an important invoice that needed to get out the door. I figured it wasn't a big deal for me since I only live about 10 minutes from my office, and it doesn't even involve highway driving at all. I had expected my drive might be a bit longer due to the storm, but any delay wouldn't be that major.

Famous last words.

A normally 10-minute drive home ended up taking nearly three hours to get home. Two of my coworkers were stuck on the road for nearly eight hours to get home (and frankly I don't know how they survived the drive, considering I was going crazy in my ride home). Sure, I had plenty of music to listen to in order to keep myself entertained, but sitting still in traffic overtook any distraction music had provided.

I made a couple calls to friends and family members to let them know where I was and that I was safe. Then I did what many of my friends and coworkers also did to entertain ourselves while stuck in traffic: I updated my status on Facebook about it.

One of my friends had a really interesting insight about my status. He said nowadays we can all share our frustrations and find comfort in each other's similar situations by sharing on social networking sites. That comment got me thinking over how things have changed in the last 10 years or so. Instead of calling or texting any one person at a time, updating a status on Facebook communicates with a number of friends all at once. And they can share right back at the same time. There's an element of comfort knowing that many friends of mine were stuck in traffic jams just as bad, if not worse, than mine.

Every now and then I've thought about what it'd be like to "disconnect" myself for a day or two. When I went to the beach last summer for my birthday, I had thought about flat out leaving my cell phone at home and be completely unplugged for a couple days. I ultimately chose not to do it, but I think it'd be a healthy idea.

Hey, this could even turn into another thing for my list: Be completely unplugged for a weekend.

Yes, let's do that.

(I told you it'd be a bit of a random tangent, but I think it made sense....to me at least.)

Out With the Old, In With the New

Has it really been a full year since I started this blog? What the hell happened to 2010 anyways? I mean, it was just a couple weeks ago that I went to see Third Eye Blind at the DC Downtown Countdown for New Year's Eve....wasn't it?

It's pretty commonplace to talk about the best memories and events of the previous year, and I'd have to say the best moment for me last year was finding out I'd be an uncle. I've got about six weeks to go before my niece is born, and I'm getting more and more antsy as the date gets closer. As far as I know, my sister still hasn't fully settled on a name and probably won't until the baby is born. I can't really blame her since she's likely avoiding a lot of other people, including myself, chiming in with opinions on the choice of a name, whether it's solicited or not.

I've also decided on my big resolution for 2011. One of my best friends started the P90X workout regimen recently and raved about it. He said he'd get me the DVDs for my own use as well so I can take the challenge. I'm really excited about it since I've been curious to give it a shot, and I could certainly stand to get in better physical shape. Plus, with my sister's wedding coming up in September, I have a goal to lose some weight between now and then since I'll be overseeing the wedding.

I'll close with this time honored line that I've heard several times in the last couple days: May the best of your past be the worst of your future. Here's to 2011. Raise your glasses and make a toast to another new beginning.

$#!+ My Dad Says

My dad has arguably the most unique sense of humor of any person I've ever known. That may be a biased thing to say considering he's my father and all, but I can't think of anyone else whose sense of humor is anything like his (and trust me - I know some people who have very odd tastes in humor). His jokes aren't anything like the book $#!+ My Dad Says or even the TV show with its Archie Bunker-type of humor. If you're familiar with the book or the website you'll know it's pretty racy stuff, but the show's humor is much more toned down for a network sitcom.

Like I said though, my dad's humor isn't anything like that. Over the last few months, my two sisters and I have decided we want to honor him and his jokes in compiling a list of his favorite phrases. None of these phrases may strike anyone else as funny if they don't know my dad personally, but I really wanted to celebrate my dad and his style in humor here.

Here's the general gist of what my dad does: He'll take a phrase, title of a TV show, street name, store, or anything else one could think of and turn it on its opposite. That description may not make much sense, but hopefully this list will help illustrate my point.

Baywatch (yes, the series) becomes Watchbay. (Incidentally, this is my dad's favorite joke and really what started his whole line. And he also likes to say that if the show was actually called Watchbay and he reversed it to Baywatch, everyone would still make fun of him. Don't ask - I know it makes no sense. But it's still hilarious to my sisters and me.)

Old Navy becomes New Army.

Dried Earth Blvd (a street in his neighborhood) becomes Wet Sky Blvd.

Best Buy becomes Worst Return.

Ruby Tuesday becomes Diamond Wednesday.

I think you get the drift. My dad isn't like Grandpa Simpson, Archie Bunker, or Morty Seinfeld, but this is the kind of inside joke that makes us sit back as a family and laugh till our stomachs hurt. I expect with Christmas coming up this week we'll sit down at dinner and share some of our favorite Dad lines and keep trying to come up with some new ones.

My sisters and I have thought about writing a book that compiles every joke he's made using his style, and we've already got the title: Watchbay. We really couldn't come up with any other title more fitting than that since that's the joke that started it all. Be on the lookout on the NY Times Bestseller list, because Watchbay will be hitting shelves eventually.

Will Someone Please %&$?!ing Cure Cancer Already?

Enough is enough.

It's time for me to get really serious for a moment. I'm tired of reading about more people being diagnosed with various types of cancer. Last week I found out a good friend of mine has an ovarian tumor and has to have surgery to remove it. She doesn't know if it's cancerous, but she's battled skin cancer in the past and has managed to beat it, and she's rightfully worried about this tumor. Mind you, she's only 26. No one should have to bear such a horrible disease and barely be starting an adult life.

Just this morning I read about Elizabeth Edwards' condition. She's battled breast cancer for the last several years and had thought it was in remission. Apparently last week she went to see her doctor and found out her cancer had come back and additional surgery or therapy would not be of significant help to her. She now has mere weeks to live.

Elizabeth Edwards has had more to deal with than any other woman I can think of. Her son was killed in a car accident when he was only 16; her husband had an affair and a child with another woman; and she's had to fight cancer amidst all this. I amazed she's able to get up in the morning and stay in relatively good spirits after going through all these events. I may not agree with her politics, but she certainly has my sympathy and prayers for her life coming to an end like this. No one deserves such a fate.

But then there are people like Dick Vitale. I don't particularly like him because he had transcended being a self-caricature on ESPN years ago, but there's one thing he's been extremely passionate about for years. He's been a major proponent of raising donations for cancer research in an effort to ultimately stamp out the disease all together. He's been particularly vocal about children stricken with leukemia and other forms of cancer, and I happened to hear him talk about the subject just this morning on ESPN Radio as well. He's worked closely with the Jimmy V Foundation since its inception in 1993, and I give him major respect for wanting to wipe out this disease once and for all.

In fact, ESPN as a whole does wonderful work in partnering with the Jimmy V Foundation every year and auctions off hundreds of sports memorabilia every summer. All auction bids go completely towards the Jimmy V Foundation, and if you don't know who Jimmy V is, please look up Jimmy Valvano on YouTube. His speech at the ESPY Awards in 1993 is one of the most inspirational videos I've ever seen.

I say all this simply because I hate reading about friends and families being affected by cancer. I think it's safe to say that fighting and defeating cancer once and for all is something that we all can agree on, regardless of political, religious, or social differences. I am going to do my part, and I hope others who read this post will do theirs as well.

I Gave 110% Writing This Blog Post

First of all, I hope everyone out there had a happy Thanksgiving and ate entirely too much. I know I did.

As I was watching football while eating dinner, I decided I would list my top cliches and overused phrases in professional sports right now. It's been on the back of my mind for a long time, and I happened to stumble onto a couple similar lists on other websites this past week. Some of these just flat out don't make any sense when you actually think about them, and I would really love all these phrases be banished from being used in commenting on sports permanently.

10. Any war-related phrase or term. These types of comments are used mostly in football, but they do pop up in other sports occasionally as well. Some of the popular uses are phrases like "going to war," "in the trenches," "lead into battle," etc. I get that football players use these terms to psyche themselves up for a game on Sundays, but I feel like it's growing more and more disrespectful to real soldiers in real combat (especially since there are so many soldiers overseas in real war zones). Plus, isn't the use of these terms just a little melodramatic to describe a football game?

9. "Intangibles." Something that's intangible is by definition undefinable (which almost sounds like a paradox). So why is it that commentators across all major sports keep trying to define something that isn't able to be defined? Just what are they referring to when they quantify a player's intangibles? It's even more silly when a player is discussed over whether or not he will qualify for his respective sport's Hall of Fame. Sure, there are certain qualities that are expected for a player to make the Hall: having won a championship (or more); being considered an elite player at his position; being an All-Star; having won one or more MVP awards during his career; and so on. Beyond those quantifiable categories, commentators get into a player's intangibles. They talk about leadership qualities, or the length of his career, or just random notes about his career in general. This doesn't make any bit of sense!

8. "You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him." Umm...stop me if I'm wrong, but containing a player would equate to stopping him. Containing Chris Johnson would mean the defense had successfully tackled him before he could break away for a 78-yard touchdown run. So what exactly is the difference?

7. "We're just gonna take it one game at a time." You know, because there are teams out there in the NFL who take their seasons 4 games at a time. Has any team ever admitted to concentrating on a game further down on their schedule than the game at hand?

6. "We got guys that give 110% every week." Unless a player on the field can simultaneously play two (or more) positions on the field, I don't see how anyone could give more than 100%.

5. "We want to play the game the right way." What the hell does this even MEAN???? I've typically heard this line used by players who have been struggling in a given season (*cough cough* THE ORIOLES *cough cough*), and one of two things happen to bring this phrase up: either the team makes a managerial change in mid-season, or the team is talking about their plans for a new upcoming season. I ask again, how does a team play a game the right way? And if there is in fact a right way to play a game, then how exactly can a game be played the wrong way? I can only assume players or coaches use this line because it makes for a sound byte, despite it being completely nonsensical.

4. "It is what it is." A cousin to "playing the game the right way." It's a non-answer to any question a reporter may pose to a player or coach in a post-game interview session. Suppose the following scenario: a running back makes a costly fumble late in a tight game. The defense recovers the fumble and take the ball back for a score, giving them the lead and ultimately wins the game for them. A reporter asks the running back his thoughts on the fumble, and invariably he'll use the, "It is what it is" line. He really didn't answer the question at all, not even with a really bad answer like inadequately protecting the football or not seeing the defense coming in for the hit that caused the fumble.

3. "Just gotta go out there and execute." This line is especially used when a team is struggling during a season when they had been successful the previous season. I've heard it used especially with regards to Carson Palmer this year since the Bengals had won the AFC North division this year and they're putrid this year. I've seen football commentators talk about why they aren't as good this year, and they keep saying the Palmer isn't converting third down opportunities, the running game isn't as effective, and the wide receivers are dropping balls. In other words, the team as a whole isn't executing properly. Well gosh, if it's just that simple, any team should be able to turn things around quickly and fix their issues.

2. "A win is a win." Good, because I was a bit confused for a moment. I have to admit though, I have seen press conferences with players like Peyton Manning following a victory where he had a really downtrodden face and demeanor while answering the press' questions. You'd almost think the Colts had lost the game that day even though they may have won 27-20. I suppose there have been games where a team might have ended up winning, but there were plenty of potentially negative things that resulted from the game (an injury to a key player, a controversial call by the refs, etc). Still, it's not like a win can be confused with anything else.

1. "They're not a very athletic team/line/group/etc." This is, without a doubt, the single dumbest line a commentator could use when referring to a single player or as much as an entire team. I've heard this line used mostly in football and basketball, but occasionally in baseball too. These are PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES. Saying these guys aren't very "athletic" doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. If these players aren't very athletic, then why on earth are they on the field in the first place? if they're not strong or fast, that's fine. Say that then. But it's just beyond absurd to say an athlete isn't athletic.

*Conversely, I've watched a few NASCAR races and heard commentators talk about a driver's car being a "fast car." Really? I had no idea that there were some cars in NASCAR that were considered fast, and others that weren't. I feel bad for the drivers who don't drive fast cars since they're clearly in the wrong line of business. I don't know why they don't just quit racing all together since they can't compete with the few drivers who do drive fast cars.

Wonders Never Cease

I read this article earlier today, and before you read my thoughts in reaction to it, I suggest you read it for yourself in full:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/05/new-test-mobile-phones-diagnose-stds

I really couldn't say whether I felt excited or frightened after reading this article. I still don't know how I feel exactly. First of all, we're talking about peeing on a cell phone to get the results. I don't classify myself as a germophobe by any means of the sort, but I absolutely could not place a phone anywhere near my face after I've peed on it, even after cleaning it off. And that's just for me. What if one of my friends wants to "borrow" my phone and use the application to give themselves a test for any STD? I sure am not going to use a phone if one of my friends peed on it!

Second, what guarantee is there the cell phone will even work after using this application? Cell phones are not typically known for their durability after getting wet. I've known plenty of friends whose cell phones ended up in pools, tubs, sinks, and even toilets. Obviously their phones were rendered useless after their phones got wet. I couldn't fathom calling Verizon up to tell them my cell phone was ruined because someone peed on it. Sure, I could lie about it, but I think their techies are bright enough to figure out what happened to the phone. Would a phone's warranty even cover a case like this?

But here's the $64,000 question: how accurate are these tests? Granted, one of the doctors interviewed in the article said that anyone who receives a positive test should immediately see an actual doctor, and rightfully so. I would think they'd need to be handled like a home pregnancy test. But wouldn't anyone using such an application want to take it a couple times, just to get a definitive answer? That's assuming, of course, that people using the application are smart enough to do so. I would suspect not everyone would be so wise.

There's a bigger picture to consider here though. Isn't it slightly disturbing that such an application was devised, developed, and ultimately produced? Moreover, that a need for such an application was determined bothers me too. According to the article, the developers targeted younger people, specifically people in their teens and their early twenties. That bothers me more than anything else, but I suppose I would be naive to think that kids in their teens don't have sex.

I guess this isn't too much unlike the controversy of offering sex education in high school. There are some potential benefits to developing the application given the convenience factor, but I'm sure if the application becomes available in the U.S. parents will probably assume making this application available will encourage their kids to have sex, et cetera.

I know it sounds like I'm opposed to this application being made available, but I'm still unsure of how I feel about this application. I guess I'm surprised such an application could even be successfully developed more than anything else. Honestly, could such an idea even have existed 10 years ago? And where do things progress from here?

Where things go from here may in fact be the biggest question of all.

Living the Life of a Nomad No More (Or At Least, Not As Much)

This has been a weird year for me, but not for a reason you might think. For only the second year in the last seven years, I haven't moved anywhere.

Okay, there's still two months left in this year (!!!), but barring some crazy circumstances or changes in the next eight weeks, I'm staying put for an entire year.

I have a good idea as to what you're thinking. I'm guessing it's something along the lines of, "Why exactly is this weird? And why on earth have you been moving so much over the last several years? Do you just like being a nomad that much?"

Let me start by saying that I'm really not into moving or being on the go that much. I don't have to go into great detail over the stress of moving since I'm sure anyone who actually reads this blog (all three or four of you out there) already knows how awful moving can be. Frankly I don't know how I was able to move that much over the last several years, but I was able to do it.

I an closely relate to one of my best friends though, since we had a running joke about how the both of us moved somewhere about the same amount of times over the course of the same number of years. Whenever one of us had to move, the other would be expected to help packing and moving boxes into the new place. However, she wasn't able to help me moving to Virginia last year, so I am up one on her. I just haven't figured out how she's going to pay me back for it yet.

But here I am, in the exact same place where I had first moved to Virginia last year. When it dawned on me in August that I'd been in my place for a full year and I had no plans to go anywhere else, I almost felt like the year was missing something somehow with me staying put. I'm not complaining by any means of the sort, but it's an odd feeling nonetheless.

Maybe my staying put is a bit more symbolic in nature. Last year was definitely a year of flux for me, for a number of reasons, between changing jobs, moving to Virginia, and the chaos in my family. This year has been more stable overall, and I'm sure staying in my place played a big role in that. It's certainly possible that I'm reading too much into things, but maybe it is for the best that I didn't move this year. Staying in a place for more than a single year worked out well for others, and maybe it'll do the same for me.