I haven't done a movie review in a long time, and this is a film that I've been looking forward to all year long, so why not?
In short, Gravity is absolutely amazing.
The first shot of the film is a huge image of the Earth from space, and gradually the space shuttle Explorer docked with the Hubble Telescope comes into view. It's breathtaking, and the total lack of sound beyond some garbled radio communications between the shuttle and NASA Control in Houston. In fact, aside from the dialogue and music, there is almost no sound in the film. Any sound of knocking on doors, drills, or buttons being pushed are largely muffled. As scientifically accurate as this is (and the film opens with some text laying out this fact), it's still unsettling. In an age when film relies largely on sound to build suspense through explosions, metal scratching on metal, and thrusters firing, the film is actually more suspenseful at times because there is no sound.
Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) is a mission specialist technician working with Matt Kowalski (George Clooney) and a team of astronauts on maintenance work on the Hubble Telescope. An accident leaves the shuttle destroyed and only Stone and Kowalski survive. Matt has to keep Ryan calm as they form a plan on how to survive and get back to Earth.
Any movie that is largely a one-man or two-man show is extremely difficult because the audience really has to care about the main character in order for the movie to work. This idea worked in Cast Away and I Am Legend, but it failed miserably in The Woman in Black. Gravity is probably the strongest film of this type because of how director Alfonso Cuaron puts the audience in Ryan's perspective throughout the film.
On more than one occasion, the film takes a first-person perspective so the audience sees exactly what Ryan sees. The first time Cuaron uses this technique is right after the shuttle explodes and Ryan is left tumbling in space. She can't stop tumbling, and is crying out for anyone to respond to her calls for help. Her breathing becomes sharper and faster, and even though we aren't even 10 minutes into the movie, the audience is doing the exact same thing.
Even though this is essentially a "man vs. nature" film, space is a very different beast than any other natural foe in film. It's dark, silent, and filled with nothing. It's frightening, and the tension is revved up to another level in Cuaron's visual style of very, very, very long takes throughout the film. I'm talking continues takes of over 15 minutes at times.
Rarely does a film truly need to be seen in IMAX and/or 3D in its theatrical release, but this is definitely that kind of film. Cuaron made a film where the audience actually feels like they are with the characters in space; it isn't just about having pretty stuff to look at. The audience becomes an active participant in the entire film from this point on.
Gravity is probably the best film I've seen thus far this year, and even more intense than World War Z was. I have a feeling that it will lose something when made available for home viewing, so I may have to see it at least one more time in theaters.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Aside From Everything Else, How Was the Play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Today marks the first day of the partial government shutdown since 1995. My first of many thoughts about this situation can be summed up in a joke I remember hearing way back in 8th grade.
Question: What's the opposite of progress?
Answer: Congress.
I've been furloughed along with my father and sister while Congress works on resolving this problem.
"Resolving." Right.
When I was offered my job within CMS over two years ago, I was excited for so many reasons. I went to grad school to get my MBA since my undergrad degree was in Electronic Media and Film, something that was an extremely niche degree program. An MBA would be much more attractive to employers out there, giving me a multitude of opportunities that my undergrad degree alone wouldn't. I had wanted to work for the federal government eventually anyway, and I had hoped that an MBA would attract interest from a federal agency.
Moreover, I had expected a federal job would be the most stable career path possible. I'd be set for life, in terms of advancement opportunities, retirement, and overall job stability. I wouldn't face being shown the door like I was in my last job.
Until now.
Well, I wasn't shown the door this time, but I am sitting on my bed with my laptop at home, waiting for this federal budget plan to be approved by Congress. And I'm really pissed off about this.
Most of last week was spent stressing out about whether I'd be going to work today. My entire division was sent emails from our directors laying out what would happen in case a furlough did in fact happen. On Friday I got an email labeling me a "non-essential" employee, which meant I would be furloughed unless a budget plan was approved prior to midnight Monday night.
I tried distracting myself last night from watching CNN all night by having Monday Night Football and the Rays/Rangers game on rotation. It didn't help much, and as the clock ticked towards midnight I got more and more nervous. I wanted to believe that both parties would avoid a shutdown at all costs, and somehow they would agree on a plan prior to midnight.
Now I'm frustrated, annoyed, stressed, and pissed off over a proverbial dick-measuring contest going on between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress. I have no faith at all in either side, considering the Republicans waited until the last four days prior to the deadline to start negotiating, and the Democrats refuse to negotiate with them at all, even now. Both sides have so much more to lose in the public eye by allowing this shutdown to happen, and if they stretch this mess out through the rest of the week (which I expect it will), who wins here? I can't believe that either side could claim a victory with a straight face, but I bet a victory speech will go something like this:
"This is a great day - not for [insert political party here], but for the American people. While it was a stressful time in resolving this issue, we [other political party] don't see this as a victory for ourselves, but for our entire country."
Give me a break.
Hey Congress, don't try selling the idea that you're doing this for something so noble as the people of this country. Even though I've never been a fan of Obama or Obamacare, my feeling at this point is that if it does go forward as it is, what's the worst that could happen? It fails miserably? Then guess what - the Democrats would have egg on their faces, and the Republicans could use that as ammunition against them in next year's midterm elections and the 2016 Presidential election.
Oh, but the Republicans are crying out they don't want to dig the country into a hole by allowing Obamacare to more forward. In the court of public opinion, they are making themselves looking like bad guys by fighting this the way they have.
Hell, both parties are handling this like a massive group of 6-year-olds. I'd even wager that if we replaced all of Congress with a bunch of first graders, they'd get this whole thing worked out in time for recess.
But here's the real kicker: we haven't even gotten to the real elephant in the room yet. Let's say that Republicans and Democrats are magically able to put their egos aside and work out a federal budget plan by tomorrow. The government shutdown ends, and everybody goes back to work. Happy ending, right?
Nope. Not by a long shot.
On October 17, the federal debt ceiling reaches its max. What this means is October 17 is the deadline for Congress to continue borrowing money on credit in order to avoid defaulting on its expenses. If the government were to default on its debts, things would obviously go ka-blooey. Increasing the ceiling has been the status quo for most of the last decade or so, but the national debt has soared to over $16 trillion (yes, TRILLION) dollars. Calling such a dollar amount "Monopoly money" isn't even fair since even Monopoly doesn't come close to that figure. Of course, settling the debt ceiling problem can't be addressed until the federal budget has been passed for the new fiscal year.
What we're left with at the moment is a whole lot of finger pointing and blaming from both sides of the political spectrum. Such arguments get nothing done, and really are giant Houdini plays on the American public. It deflects attention away from the bigger problem of how to resolve the problem versus claiming who is strong-arming whom.
I've spent most of today watching CNN, which has been a completely depressing experience. I've been writing sports-related posts lately as a distraction and venue to avoid being a Douglas Downer. But as someone who has been directly affected by this mess along with most of his family, I couldn't ignore it. I just don't see an end in sight.
NFL Week 4 Snap Judgments
Remember what I said last week about the good teams starting to separate themselves from the crappy teams? Yeah, never mind.
I still don't trust the Patriots, even though they won Sunday night. The Broncos and Seahawks are clearly each conference's best team, but when was the last time the Super Bowl featured a pair of #1 seeds in the game? The last time a #1 seed even won the Super Bowl was the 2009 Saints, but I can't remember the last time both top seeds even got to the big game.
Then there are a bunch of teams like the Ravens, Bears, 49ers, Falcons, Bengals, and Redskins who have at least hit stumbling blocks, if not flat out underachieved so far this season. So just how many teams can be seen as true contenders in the league right now?
I know talking like this is absurdly premature, and it probably won't be another month or so before we really know which teams could realistically make a Super Bowl run. I still have this feeling that this year's champ will have a run similar to what the last three Super Bowl champs had - a hot run starting in mid to late December, followed by a big push come January.
With that said, let's switch things up a bit by taking a look at each division through four weeks.
1. The AFC East: It ain't just the Patriots and a bunch of lousy teams anymore. I am a believer in the Dolphins. I don't care that they were easily handled by the Saints last night. I was a little hesitant to pick them to win the AFC East before the season, but as each week passes I am more and more confident that they will win the division this year, forcing the Patriots to fight for a Wild Card spot. I have no idea what to make of the Bills yet, because even though they beat the Ravens on Sunday, they still found themselves in a position where the Ravens could have at least forced overtime, if not drove down field to win the game with a touchdown. And the Jets are, sadly, still the Jets.
2. The AFC North: Mediocrity is king. Three of the four teams are 2-2, and the Steelers are 0-4. The Ravens and Bengals shot themselves in the foot this past weekend, but I think the Ravens in particular inflicted a lot of self-damage for a couple reasons. First, five interceptions speak for themselves, but at least two interceptions were not Flacco's fault (an argument could be made for a third not being his fault either). Factoring in the atrocious offensive line play and pathetic run defense, and there's plenty of blame to go around the entire team for their loss. Then again, the fact that the Ravens even had a chance to tie the game if not win it outright at the end says an awful lot about how bad the Bills played as well. They had the Ravens down dead to rights when they were up 20-7, so the Ravens had no business having a chance to win that game at all.
Then there's the Bengals/Browns game. I don't know how the Browns have done it, but they have won their last two games in pretty convincing fashion. They took the Bengals' best player out of the game completely, and made Andy Dalton look below average at best. I didn't think the Bengals were quite ready to compete for the division title this year, and this weekend is a pretty good indicator that I was right about that.
3. The AFC South: The Texans are doing exactly what I had expected them to do. I said in my predictions that I expected the Colts to steal the division away from the Texans, implying it would be a close match down the stretch. It may not be as close as I had originally expected. If the Texans continue to blow 17-point leads like they did to the Seahawks (at home, no less), they could very well find themselves on the outside of the playoff hunt looking in, especially with the Chiefs bouncing back this year in a big way. The Titans are overachieving so reality will settle in on them being a mediocre team, and the Jaguars could probably be beaten by at least a few college teams, especially Alabama.
4. The AFC West: The Chiefs could wind up with at least 10 wins but not be able to host a playoff game. Talk about a raw deal for the Chiefs. They've pulled a 180-degree turnaround from where they were a year ago, and already doubled their win total from 2012. And yet because they are in the same division as the Broncos, they would have to go on the road for the playoffs. Andy Reid is an early pick (a VERY early pick) for Coach of the Year at this point, especially if they do make the playoffs.
5. The NFC East: 8-8 could be enough to win the division. Remember the hoopla from a couple years ago when the Seahawks won the NFC West at 7-9, and hosted a playoff game? We could face a similar situation with the NFC East this year, given how mediocre (and that's being polite) the entire division looks. The Giants are putrid, having score 7 points in their last 8 quarters of play; the Eagles' fast paced offense looks like a Week 1 wonder; I trust Jason Garrett as far as I can throw him; and the Redskins are 1-3. I thought the Eagles could win the division by winning 10 games, and at this point I doubt any team in this division will win that many.
6. The NFC North: There could be a changing of the guard. I'm not about to bury the Packers necessarily, but the Bears and Lions both look vastly improved from last season. I didn't expect the Lions to be much better than they were in 2012, but Reggie Bush has been an incredible addition to their offense (and to my fantasy team, if I may brag for a moment). They use him how he should have been used for his entire career, and even though the Bears hit a wall against Detroit this weekend, they look better as well. The Packers have the best quarterback in the division (and one of the best ones in the entire league), but they could find themselves on the outside of the playoff hunt come December as well.
7. The NFC South: Proof positive that a team still needs its head coach to be as good as it can be. The Saints' lone Achilles heel continues to be their defense, but their offense looks more fluid and coherent through its first four games than it did all of last year. Last night's game shows Drew Brees is back to his old self, and the Saints have certainly benefited from the Falcons stumbling out of the gate a bit so far.
8. The NFC West: The curse of the reigning Super Bowl loser lives on. There was a stretch for a while where if a team had reached the Super Bowl but lost, they had failed make the playoffs the following year. This stretch was broken with the Seahawks in 2007, but the 49ers have looked largely sluggish through their first four games this season. I'm not sure if that's a product of teams figuring out how to defend Colin Kaepernick or the injuries the team has sustained so far (Aldon Smith is another issue all together). The Seahawks currently have a 2-game lead in the division, including a huge win over the 49ers in Week 2, so if that gap continues expanding San Francisco may also be fighting for a Wild Card spot.
I still don't trust the Patriots, even though they won Sunday night. The Broncos and Seahawks are clearly each conference's best team, but when was the last time the Super Bowl featured a pair of #1 seeds in the game? The last time a #1 seed even won the Super Bowl was the 2009 Saints, but I can't remember the last time both top seeds even got to the big game.
Then there are a bunch of teams like the Ravens, Bears, 49ers, Falcons, Bengals, and Redskins who have at least hit stumbling blocks, if not flat out underachieved so far this season. So just how many teams can be seen as true contenders in the league right now?
I know talking like this is absurdly premature, and it probably won't be another month or so before we really know which teams could realistically make a Super Bowl run. I still have this feeling that this year's champ will have a run similar to what the last three Super Bowl champs had - a hot run starting in mid to late December, followed by a big push come January.
With that said, let's switch things up a bit by taking a look at each division through four weeks.
1. The AFC East: It ain't just the Patriots and a bunch of lousy teams anymore. I am a believer in the Dolphins. I don't care that they were easily handled by the Saints last night. I was a little hesitant to pick them to win the AFC East before the season, but as each week passes I am more and more confident that they will win the division this year, forcing the Patriots to fight for a Wild Card spot. I have no idea what to make of the Bills yet, because even though they beat the Ravens on Sunday, they still found themselves in a position where the Ravens could have at least forced overtime, if not drove down field to win the game with a touchdown. And the Jets are, sadly, still the Jets.
2. The AFC North: Mediocrity is king. Three of the four teams are 2-2, and the Steelers are 0-4. The Ravens and Bengals shot themselves in the foot this past weekend, but I think the Ravens in particular inflicted a lot of self-damage for a couple reasons. First, five interceptions speak for themselves, but at least two interceptions were not Flacco's fault (an argument could be made for a third not being his fault either). Factoring in the atrocious offensive line play and pathetic run defense, and there's plenty of blame to go around the entire team for their loss. Then again, the fact that the Ravens even had a chance to tie the game if not win it outright at the end says an awful lot about how bad the Bills played as well. They had the Ravens down dead to rights when they were up 20-7, so the Ravens had no business having a chance to win that game at all.
Then there's the Bengals/Browns game. I don't know how the Browns have done it, but they have won their last two games in pretty convincing fashion. They took the Bengals' best player out of the game completely, and made Andy Dalton look below average at best. I didn't think the Bengals were quite ready to compete for the division title this year, and this weekend is a pretty good indicator that I was right about that.
3. The AFC South: The Texans are doing exactly what I had expected them to do. I said in my predictions that I expected the Colts to steal the division away from the Texans, implying it would be a close match down the stretch. It may not be as close as I had originally expected. If the Texans continue to blow 17-point leads like they did to the Seahawks (at home, no less), they could very well find themselves on the outside of the playoff hunt looking in, especially with the Chiefs bouncing back this year in a big way. The Titans are overachieving so reality will settle in on them being a mediocre team, and the Jaguars could probably be beaten by at least a few college teams, especially Alabama.
4. The AFC West: The Chiefs could wind up with at least 10 wins but not be able to host a playoff game. Talk about a raw deal for the Chiefs. They've pulled a 180-degree turnaround from where they were a year ago, and already doubled their win total from 2012. And yet because they are in the same division as the Broncos, they would have to go on the road for the playoffs. Andy Reid is an early pick (a VERY early pick) for Coach of the Year at this point, especially if they do make the playoffs.
5. The NFC East: 8-8 could be enough to win the division. Remember the hoopla from a couple years ago when the Seahawks won the NFC West at 7-9, and hosted a playoff game? We could face a similar situation with the NFC East this year, given how mediocre (and that's being polite) the entire division looks. The Giants are putrid, having score 7 points in their last 8 quarters of play; the Eagles' fast paced offense looks like a Week 1 wonder; I trust Jason Garrett as far as I can throw him; and the Redskins are 1-3. I thought the Eagles could win the division by winning 10 games, and at this point I doubt any team in this division will win that many.
6. The NFC North: There could be a changing of the guard. I'm not about to bury the Packers necessarily, but the Bears and Lions both look vastly improved from last season. I didn't expect the Lions to be much better than they were in 2012, but Reggie Bush has been an incredible addition to their offense (and to my fantasy team, if I may brag for a moment). They use him how he should have been used for his entire career, and even though the Bears hit a wall against Detroit this weekend, they look better as well. The Packers have the best quarterback in the division (and one of the best ones in the entire league), but they could find themselves on the outside of the playoff hunt come December as well.
7. The NFC South: Proof positive that a team still needs its head coach to be as good as it can be. The Saints' lone Achilles heel continues to be their defense, but their offense looks more fluid and coherent through its first four games than it did all of last year. Last night's game shows Drew Brees is back to his old self, and the Saints have certainly benefited from the Falcons stumbling out of the gate a bit so far.
8. The NFC West: The curse of the reigning Super Bowl loser lives on. There was a stretch for a while where if a team had reached the Super Bowl but lost, they had failed make the playoffs the following year. This stretch was broken with the Seahawks in 2007, but the 49ers have looked largely sluggish through their first four games this season. I'm not sure if that's a product of teams figuring out how to defend Colin Kaepernick or the injuries the team has sustained so far (Aldon Smith is another issue all together). The Seahawks currently have a 2-game lead in the division, including a huge win over the 49ers in Week 2, so if that gap continues expanding San Francisco may also be fighting for a Wild Card spot.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
NFL Week 3 Snap Judgments
We're now three weeks in to the season already, and the good teams are now starting to separate themselves from the bad teams in the league. After Week 4, I may switch up my Snap Judgments a bit more, but I will refrain from talking about details over that until next week.
1. If you want to check out the bad teams, start with the Giants. Umm....wow. If anyone had told me on Friday the Giants would not only lose to the Panthers, but be shut out 38-0, I'd have laughed in their face. I don't even know what the Giants' main problem is. They're obviously turning the ball over at alarming rates, but is that a by-product of awful offensive line play? Eli making bad decisions again? The defense failing to make plays and stop opposing offenses? I know I wouldn't want to be watching film of Sunday's game with Tom Coughlin this week, that's for sure.
2. In fact, the Goat of the Week Award goes to the Giants' offensive line. Through three games, Eli Manning has been sacked a total of 10 times. That puts him on pace for 53 sacks on the season, which is a brutal beating for any quarterback to take. He's also thrown 8 interceptions thus far, which isn't always directly related to poor o-line play, but he's certainly been forced to make some bad throws thanks to his line not protecting him.
3. I was originally going to say the Browns were playing for a .500 season in 2018, but they actually have a little fight in them. Arguably the biggest surprise of the weekend was the Browns' offense giving the Vikings the business. Bryan Hoyer - Bryan Hoyer!!! - looked like a competent quarterback, and could possibly have the starting job the rest of the season, given how the organization clearly is not enamored with Brandon Weeden. Trading away their best offensive weapon in Trent Richardson looked like a sign the team was waving the white flag in Week 3, but they can clearly put some points on the board. They will still likely end up with a top 10 pick (and maybe even a top 5 pick) in the draft next year, but they aren't the pushover they were perceived to be.
4. The Ravens' defense has brushed off the cobwebs. After a dismal opening game in Denver, the Ravens' defense has started to show just how good it can be. They haven't allowed a touchdown in their last two games, including this weekend's dominant performance against the high-powered Houston offense. They took Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, De'Andre Hopkins, and Owen Daniels out of the game. And not to be outdone, but Marshall Yanda on the offensive line also took out Houston's best defensive player in J.J. Watt. That's a very impressive feat.
5. Meanwhile, just who are the Texans? They managed to win their first two games on their final possessions, including an overtime win over the Titans last week. This week, they struggled to move the ball after the first quarter, and even with the offensive weapons they have they couldn't find the end zone at all. They were heavily expected to beat the Ravens, but once again they could not beat one of the top tier teams in the AFC. I still stand by my prediction that the Colts win the AFC South this year, and the Texans are forced to fight for one of the Wild Card spots.
6. Raise your hands if you expected the Dolphins, Chiefs, Bears, and Saints to be 3-0 at this point so I may promptly bop you on the head for lying to my face. It's easy to proclaim the Chiefs as the most improved team in the NFL this year since they've already eclipsed their entire win total from last year, but how 'bout them Dolphins? Did anyone think they'd be 3-0 at this point, beating the likes of the Colts and Falcons along the way? The Bears and Saints are less surprising, though the Bears' first two wins were pretty miraculous. All four of these teams will likely be in the hunt for the playoffs come December, and I'm even more convinced now that the Dolphins will wind up winning the AFC East than I was prior to the season starting.
7. The 49ers could be in real trouble. I've seen quite a bit of discussion over the fact that the 49ers are under .500 for the first time under Jim Harbaugh as head coach. To say such a statement is an insane overreaction is putting things mildly. However, they are going to be without Aldon Smith for the foreseeable future following his DUI last week, which means their pass rush will take a major blow. Their next 4 games include at St. Louis, Houston and Arizona at home, and then at Tennessee. If they went 2-2 during that span I'd be impressed, though that still wouldn't get them back to .500.
8. When was the last time you saw a game where a team was penalized 20 times and still won? I caught the tail end of the Jets/Bills game, around the point where the Bills had scored a touchdown and a game-tying 2-point conversation midway through the 4th quarter. Had the Jets gone on to lose the game, Kyle Wilson would have easily been the Goat of the Week for me since he had committed three back-to-back-to-back personal foul penalties on Stevie Johnson. He was eventually taken back to the sidelines to cool off, and amazingly the Jets still held on to win the game despite being so undisciplined on the field. I'm really surprised the Jets are 2-1 at this point, though I expect reality will settle in over the next few weeks for them.
9. Another game, another incredible performance by Peyton Manning. Honestly, is anyone getting tired of what to say about Peyton? I think I'm out of words to describe him without resorting to cliche after cliche. I have to admit, I'm at the point where I care more to see what he can do come December and January than what he can do in September. He has crashed and burned in the playoffs far more often than not, so until I see him able to play at or near this kind of level in cold weather I will remain skeptical over Denver's chances of playing in Super Bowl 48.
1. If you want to check out the bad teams, start with the Giants. Umm....wow. If anyone had told me on Friday the Giants would not only lose to the Panthers, but be shut out 38-0, I'd have laughed in their face. I don't even know what the Giants' main problem is. They're obviously turning the ball over at alarming rates, but is that a by-product of awful offensive line play? Eli making bad decisions again? The defense failing to make plays and stop opposing offenses? I know I wouldn't want to be watching film of Sunday's game with Tom Coughlin this week, that's for sure.
2. In fact, the Goat of the Week Award goes to the Giants' offensive line. Through three games, Eli Manning has been sacked a total of 10 times. That puts him on pace for 53 sacks on the season, which is a brutal beating for any quarterback to take. He's also thrown 8 interceptions thus far, which isn't always directly related to poor o-line play, but he's certainly been forced to make some bad throws thanks to his line not protecting him.
3. I was originally going to say the Browns were playing for a .500 season in 2018, but they actually have a little fight in them. Arguably the biggest surprise of the weekend was the Browns' offense giving the Vikings the business. Bryan Hoyer - Bryan Hoyer!!! - looked like a competent quarterback, and could possibly have the starting job the rest of the season, given how the organization clearly is not enamored with Brandon Weeden. Trading away their best offensive weapon in Trent Richardson looked like a sign the team was waving the white flag in Week 3, but they can clearly put some points on the board. They will still likely end up with a top 10 pick (and maybe even a top 5 pick) in the draft next year, but they aren't the pushover they were perceived to be.
4. The Ravens' defense has brushed off the cobwebs. After a dismal opening game in Denver, the Ravens' defense has started to show just how good it can be. They haven't allowed a touchdown in their last two games, including this weekend's dominant performance against the high-powered Houston offense. They took Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, De'Andre Hopkins, and Owen Daniels out of the game. And not to be outdone, but Marshall Yanda on the offensive line also took out Houston's best defensive player in J.J. Watt. That's a very impressive feat.
5. Meanwhile, just who are the Texans? They managed to win their first two games on their final possessions, including an overtime win over the Titans last week. This week, they struggled to move the ball after the first quarter, and even with the offensive weapons they have they couldn't find the end zone at all. They were heavily expected to beat the Ravens, but once again they could not beat one of the top tier teams in the AFC. I still stand by my prediction that the Colts win the AFC South this year, and the Texans are forced to fight for one of the Wild Card spots.
6. Raise your hands if you expected the Dolphins, Chiefs, Bears, and Saints to be 3-0 at this point so I may promptly bop you on the head for lying to my face. It's easy to proclaim the Chiefs as the most improved team in the NFL this year since they've already eclipsed their entire win total from last year, but how 'bout them Dolphins? Did anyone think they'd be 3-0 at this point, beating the likes of the Colts and Falcons along the way? The Bears and Saints are less surprising, though the Bears' first two wins were pretty miraculous. All four of these teams will likely be in the hunt for the playoffs come December, and I'm even more convinced now that the Dolphins will wind up winning the AFC East than I was prior to the season starting.
7. The 49ers could be in real trouble. I've seen quite a bit of discussion over the fact that the 49ers are under .500 for the first time under Jim Harbaugh as head coach. To say such a statement is an insane overreaction is putting things mildly. However, they are going to be without Aldon Smith for the foreseeable future following his DUI last week, which means their pass rush will take a major blow. Their next 4 games include at St. Louis, Houston and Arizona at home, and then at Tennessee. If they went 2-2 during that span I'd be impressed, though that still wouldn't get them back to .500.
8. When was the last time you saw a game where a team was penalized 20 times and still won? I caught the tail end of the Jets/Bills game, around the point where the Bills had scored a touchdown and a game-tying 2-point conversation midway through the 4th quarter. Had the Jets gone on to lose the game, Kyle Wilson would have easily been the Goat of the Week for me since he had committed three back-to-back-to-back personal foul penalties on Stevie Johnson. He was eventually taken back to the sidelines to cool off, and amazingly the Jets still held on to win the game despite being so undisciplined on the field. I'm really surprised the Jets are 2-1 at this point, though I expect reality will settle in over the next few weeks for them.
9. Another game, another incredible performance by Peyton Manning. Honestly, is anyone getting tired of what to say about Peyton? I think I'm out of words to describe him without resorting to cliche after cliche. I have to admit, I'm at the point where I care more to see what he can do come December and January than what he can do in September. He has crashed and burned in the playoffs far more often than not, so until I see him able to play at or near this kind of level in cold weather I will remain skeptical over Denver's chances of playing in Super Bowl 48.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
NFL Week 2 Snap Judgments
Week 2 has already come and gone, and here are my thoughts...
1. Stop me if you heard this before, but an entire division stunk except for a single wide receiver. Last week it was the AFC North; this week was the NFC East's turn. If not for a crazy day from Dez Bryant, the entire division laid an egg. Oh sure, the Eagles put 30 points up on the board thanks to big days from LeSean McCoy and DeSean Jackson, but the defense gave up 419 yards passing to Philip Rivers. Not many football teams will win a game while giving up that kind of yardage. The Giants continued turning over the ball which led to their demise, and the Redskins couldn't save a turkey from becoming Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, speaking of the Redskins...
2. What do the Redskins do with RGIII? From a fantasy football perspective, I wanted nothing to do with drafting RGIII as my quarterback on any of my teams. He hadn't played a down in any football game since January, and spent the entire off-season rehabbing his knee. He didn't play at all during the preseason either, so there were bound to be cobwebs and rusty play for at least the first week or so. Still, yesterday he looked very uncomfortable throwing the football and avoiding any hits. Tony Dungy even said on Sunday Night Football that the Redskins should consider benching him after next week if he continues to play poorly. Personally, I think that's extremely premature, but the Redskins also can't afford to continue digging a deeper hole for them while waiting for RGIII to get back into playing shape.
3. The Patriots are in serious trouble. When was the last time those words found themselves in the same sentence? I expected the Patriots to take a step backwards this season given their extremely weak group of receivers, but even I was surprised at how bad they looked last Thursday night against the Jets. I'm a firm believer in the Bill Parcells philosophy of "You are what your record says you are," but barely squeaking by the Bills and Jets is a huge concern for a team who was in the Super Bowl two years ago, and was in the AFC Championship Game last year. Miami is looking really good after their first two games, which puts the Patriots in the position of someone actually breathing down their necks. That's a very foreign situation for them.
4. The rest of the NFC could face a daunting task if the Seahawks wind up with the #1 seed in the playoffs. The Seahawks' home field advantage has always been somewhat skewed due to how sound travels in their stadium. I don't know much about the mechanics or engineering of it, except that the stadium's design and location near water makes sound much louder than most other NFL stadiums. It showed Sunday night thanks to Seahawks fans aiming for setting new noise records during a game. That would disrupt any opposing team's communication from the sidelines to the field. Even though we're a long way off from January, the Seahawks have shown over the last few years they are extremely tough to beat in their own house.
5. The Goat of the Week Award goes to the CBS affiliate station WKMG in Orlando. This is a really outside the box pick, but check this out. How pathetic is that if a station in the Jaguars' home market has to apologize for the "inconvenience" of showing the Jaguars game instead of the Broncos/Giants game? Maybe the more appropriate goat is the Jaguars for being as awful a team as they are, but I think it's pretty telling if a local network knows how bad the team is and feels ashamed for being contractually obligated to televise them.
6. The Cardiac Kodiaks have been pretty remarkable so far. Seeing how the Bears have made two fairly big comebacks in the first two weeks of the season, I'm reminded of a two-week stretch for the Bears way back in 2001:
Incidentally, how much better was NFL Prime Time with only Chris Berman and Tom Jackson? Man, those were the good ol' days. Sigh....
7. Ron Rivera can't last much longer in Carolina. This season marks the third year for the Panthers with Ron Rivera as head coach, and it's the third straight year they've started slow. They find new and bizarre ways to blow leads late in games, putting themselves in a deep hole by mid-season. The last couple years, they find some kind of stride fairly late in the season and wind up winning 5 or 6 of their final few games. If they lose next weekend and start 0-3 - which is a real possibility since they are playing against the desperate Giants - ownership may have to consider making a coaching change at some point this season.
8. I wouldn't be surprised if the Chiefs wound up winning double-digit games at this point. I know, talk about jumping to potentially irrational conclusions. But considering the Chiefs have already equaled last season's win total - albeit one of those games was against Jacksonville - they're clearly one of the most improved teams in the NFL right now. Plus, they have yet to turn the ball over even once. Don't get me wrong, though; I don't necessarily think they are good enough to win the AFC West yet, but they could very well compete for a Wild Card come December.
9. The Todd Haley Experiment in Pittsburgh is imploding. I'm not sure if there's any one thing that's caused the Steelers to struggle so much in the first two games of the season. The offensive line is clearly a weakness, so I can't imagine that the line coach will have a job there much longer. But when the offense (and the team as a whole) only scores two touchdowns through the first two games of a season, that's about the worst kind of omen. Even as a Ravens fan, I wouldn't have expected this kind of showing from the Steelers for a prolonged period of time. The Steelers usually have one down year in every 5-year span or so, but last year's struggles have slopped over into this season, and there's no sign of things changing any time soon. The Steelers are back at home next week against Chicago, so there's a real chance they could find themselves at 0-3.
1. Stop me if you heard this before, but an entire division stunk except for a single wide receiver. Last week it was the AFC North; this week was the NFC East's turn. If not for a crazy day from Dez Bryant, the entire division laid an egg. Oh sure, the Eagles put 30 points up on the board thanks to big days from LeSean McCoy and DeSean Jackson, but the defense gave up 419 yards passing to Philip Rivers. Not many football teams will win a game while giving up that kind of yardage. The Giants continued turning over the ball which led to their demise, and the Redskins couldn't save a turkey from becoming Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, speaking of the Redskins...
2. What do the Redskins do with RGIII? From a fantasy football perspective, I wanted nothing to do with drafting RGIII as my quarterback on any of my teams. He hadn't played a down in any football game since January, and spent the entire off-season rehabbing his knee. He didn't play at all during the preseason either, so there were bound to be cobwebs and rusty play for at least the first week or so. Still, yesterday he looked very uncomfortable throwing the football and avoiding any hits. Tony Dungy even said on Sunday Night Football that the Redskins should consider benching him after next week if he continues to play poorly. Personally, I think that's extremely premature, but the Redskins also can't afford to continue digging a deeper hole for them while waiting for RGIII to get back into playing shape.
3. The Patriots are in serious trouble. When was the last time those words found themselves in the same sentence? I expected the Patriots to take a step backwards this season given their extremely weak group of receivers, but even I was surprised at how bad they looked last Thursday night against the Jets. I'm a firm believer in the Bill Parcells philosophy of "You are what your record says you are," but barely squeaking by the Bills and Jets is a huge concern for a team who was in the Super Bowl two years ago, and was in the AFC Championship Game last year. Miami is looking really good after their first two games, which puts the Patriots in the position of someone actually breathing down their necks. That's a very foreign situation for them.
4. The rest of the NFC could face a daunting task if the Seahawks wind up with the #1 seed in the playoffs. The Seahawks' home field advantage has always been somewhat skewed due to how sound travels in their stadium. I don't know much about the mechanics or engineering of it, except that the stadium's design and location near water makes sound much louder than most other NFL stadiums. It showed Sunday night thanks to Seahawks fans aiming for setting new noise records during a game. That would disrupt any opposing team's communication from the sidelines to the field. Even though we're a long way off from January, the Seahawks have shown over the last few years they are extremely tough to beat in their own house.
5. The Goat of the Week Award goes to the CBS affiliate station WKMG in Orlando. This is a really outside the box pick, but check this out. How pathetic is that if a station in the Jaguars' home market has to apologize for the "inconvenience" of showing the Jaguars game instead of the Broncos/Giants game? Maybe the more appropriate goat is the Jaguars for being as awful a team as they are, but I think it's pretty telling if a local network knows how bad the team is and feels ashamed for being contractually obligated to televise them.
6. The Cardiac Kodiaks have been pretty remarkable so far. Seeing how the Bears have made two fairly big comebacks in the first two weeks of the season, I'm reminded of a two-week stretch for the Bears way back in 2001:
Incidentally, how much better was NFL Prime Time with only Chris Berman and Tom Jackson? Man, those were the good ol' days. Sigh....
7. Ron Rivera can't last much longer in Carolina. This season marks the third year for the Panthers with Ron Rivera as head coach, and it's the third straight year they've started slow. They find new and bizarre ways to blow leads late in games, putting themselves in a deep hole by mid-season. The last couple years, they find some kind of stride fairly late in the season and wind up winning 5 or 6 of their final few games. If they lose next weekend and start 0-3 - which is a real possibility since they are playing against the desperate Giants - ownership may have to consider making a coaching change at some point this season.
8. I wouldn't be surprised if the Chiefs wound up winning double-digit games at this point. I know, talk about jumping to potentially irrational conclusions. But considering the Chiefs have already equaled last season's win total - albeit one of those games was against Jacksonville - they're clearly one of the most improved teams in the NFL right now. Plus, they have yet to turn the ball over even once. Don't get me wrong, though; I don't necessarily think they are good enough to win the AFC West yet, but they could very well compete for a Wild Card come December.
9. The Todd Haley Experiment in Pittsburgh is imploding. I'm not sure if there's any one thing that's caused the Steelers to struggle so much in the first two games of the season. The offensive line is clearly a weakness, so I can't imagine that the line coach will have a job there much longer. But when the offense (and the team as a whole) only scores two touchdowns through the first two games of a season, that's about the worst kind of omen. Even as a Ravens fan, I wouldn't have expected this kind of showing from the Steelers for a prolonged period of time. The Steelers usually have one down year in every 5-year span or so, but last year's struggles have slopped over into this season, and there's no sign of things changing any time soon. The Steelers are back at home next week against Chicago, so there's a real chance they could find themselves at 0-3.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
NFL Week 1 Snap Judgments
This was an idea that I had for last season, but it never got off the ground. I didn't want to start mid-season in writing my weekly recaps and thoughts, so I figured I'd hold off till now to get it going. Hopefully I won't run out of steam during the course of the season at all.
It's worth noting that almost all these thoughts are going to be unfair given we're only 1 week into the season, but that's what snap judgments are for.
1. The AFC North looked absolutely awful this weekend aside from A.J. Green. I'm super grateful that I have A.J. Green on a couple fantasy teams of mine, but wow. The Ravens fell apart in the second half of their season opener Thursday night in Denver; Cincinnati couldn't hold on to a 21-17 lead in the 4th quarter against Chicago; and Pittsburgh and Cleveland were both so bad on offense they were offensive to offenses around the league. A.J. Green was the lone bright spot for the entire division this weekend, and he put his team on his shoulders in an effort to win on Sunday. The rest of the team just couldn't back him up.
2. What did I say about Larry Fitzgerald? I told you in my season predictions that Larry Fitzgerald will be the Comeback Player of the Year now that he has a quarterback who can actually play the position. I know, it's only one game, but he looked every bit as awesome Sunday as he did with Kurt Warner. 'Nuff said.
3. Even with replay and the actual officials, we will always have blown calls in games. I'm talking about the blunder in offsetting penalties in the Green Bay/San Francisco game. Hey, I would never claim to know the rule book in the NFL, and I don't envy the refs who have to make calls like that on the field at a moment's notice. But when refs have time to blow a call even after having time to review the play and discuss it before making an official announcement during the game, that's a major black eye. I don't know what the solution to the problem is, but I'd really hate to see what would happen in a playoff game or the Super Bowl if such a blown call affected the outcome somehow.
4. I might have picked the wrong team to go 0-16. I said in my predictions that the Raiders have a chance at going 0-16 this year, assuming they don't beat the Jaguars in Week 2. Ironically, now it looks like it's the Jaguars who look more likely to go 0-16 if they don't win this coming weekend in Oakland. I'm not sure which position(s) they need to address in order to become a competitive team again, but they somehow managed to look less competitive than the Raiders did. And that's saying something.
5. The Goat of the Week Award has to go to Lavonte David. The Bucs were up 17-15 with less than a minute to play in the game when Jets QB Geno Smith scrambled for 10 yards. He was on his way out of bounds when Lavonte David of the Bucs pushed Smith, even though Smith was already out of bounds. That kind of play will always get a flag for unnecessary roughness, which tacked on 15 yards on the end of the play, putting the Jets in field goal range. With 34 seconds left on the clock, the Jets kicked a game-winning field goal, thanks to the dumb penalty on David. Nice one, Lavonte. You not only cost your team the game, but I bet a lot of people playing Survivor leagues in fantasy football were eliminated in Week 1 thanks to you (I took the Colts, so I'm safe).
6. The Broncos will be really good again, but I still don't trust their defense. They will be without Von Miller for another 5 weeks, and I don't know when Champ Bailey is expected to come back from his injury. Still, they're going to win 11 or 12 games this season. However, I don't think they're a Super Bowl team because of their defensive issues and Peyton Manning's history of collapsing in the playoffs. Don't get me wrong, though - Peyton Manning was by far the single best player who took the field in Week 1.
7. I'm not sure what to make of the Bills/Patriots game. The Bills have played the Patriots close in a few games over the last couple years, and they've fooled me into thinking they could pull off the upset in the past. However, I've made no secret over how down I am on the Patriots this year, so the question here is where do the Bills' positives end and the Patriots' negatives begin? Danny Amendola wasted no time in pulling a groin injury during the game (though he did return after a brief absence), so it's only a question of when he winds up injuring himself to the point of having to miss a couple weeks. The Patriots still did what they have done countless times in the past, and that's kick a game-winning field goal late in the 4th quarter.
8. The only reason why the Eagles might not win the NFC East is because of their defense. I'm still sticking to my prediction of the Eagles pulling off the improbable by winning their division this year. I'm actually more confident of my prediction now than I was prior to this weekend, though it's clear the team's major weakness is its defense. How else does a team at one point lead a game 33-7, and then wind up with a final score of 33-27? Despite this glaring weakness though, I am still believing in the team winning the division and making the playoffs.
9. Nearly all these snap judgments will be moot a month from now. That's the great irony to Week 1. Football fans and talking heads are all so excited to have the new season start, but after the first weekend, teams are either looking like Super Bowl champions or utter disasters. Eyes are particularly on the defending champs, and plenty of writers and fans are wondering if they'll even make the playoffs this season. Reality is always somewhere between extremes, and I think the Ravens will still win the AFC North and make a deep playoff run. Accuse me of wearing purple-colored glasses all you like, but they won't be as awful as they were in the second half of the game Thursday night.
It's worth noting that almost all these thoughts are going to be unfair given we're only 1 week into the season, but that's what snap judgments are for.
1. The AFC North looked absolutely awful this weekend aside from A.J. Green. I'm super grateful that I have A.J. Green on a couple fantasy teams of mine, but wow. The Ravens fell apart in the second half of their season opener Thursday night in Denver; Cincinnati couldn't hold on to a 21-17 lead in the 4th quarter against Chicago; and Pittsburgh and Cleveland were both so bad on offense they were offensive to offenses around the league. A.J. Green was the lone bright spot for the entire division this weekend, and he put his team on his shoulders in an effort to win on Sunday. The rest of the team just couldn't back him up.
2. What did I say about Larry Fitzgerald? I told you in my season predictions that Larry Fitzgerald will be the Comeback Player of the Year now that he has a quarterback who can actually play the position. I know, it's only one game, but he looked every bit as awesome Sunday as he did with Kurt Warner. 'Nuff said.
3. Even with replay and the actual officials, we will always have blown calls in games. I'm talking about the blunder in offsetting penalties in the Green Bay/San Francisco game. Hey, I would never claim to know the rule book in the NFL, and I don't envy the refs who have to make calls like that on the field at a moment's notice. But when refs have time to blow a call even after having time to review the play and discuss it before making an official announcement during the game, that's a major black eye. I don't know what the solution to the problem is, but I'd really hate to see what would happen in a playoff game or the Super Bowl if such a blown call affected the outcome somehow.
4. I might have picked the wrong team to go 0-16. I said in my predictions that the Raiders have a chance at going 0-16 this year, assuming they don't beat the Jaguars in Week 2. Ironically, now it looks like it's the Jaguars who look more likely to go 0-16 if they don't win this coming weekend in Oakland. I'm not sure which position(s) they need to address in order to become a competitive team again, but they somehow managed to look less competitive than the Raiders did. And that's saying something.
5. The Goat of the Week Award has to go to Lavonte David. The Bucs were up 17-15 with less than a minute to play in the game when Jets QB Geno Smith scrambled for 10 yards. He was on his way out of bounds when Lavonte David of the Bucs pushed Smith, even though Smith was already out of bounds. That kind of play will always get a flag for unnecessary roughness, which tacked on 15 yards on the end of the play, putting the Jets in field goal range. With 34 seconds left on the clock, the Jets kicked a game-winning field goal, thanks to the dumb penalty on David. Nice one, Lavonte. You not only cost your team the game, but I bet a lot of people playing Survivor leagues in fantasy football were eliminated in Week 1 thanks to you (I took the Colts, so I'm safe).
6. The Broncos will be really good again, but I still don't trust their defense. They will be without Von Miller for another 5 weeks, and I don't know when Champ Bailey is expected to come back from his injury. Still, they're going to win 11 or 12 games this season. However, I don't think they're a Super Bowl team because of their defensive issues and Peyton Manning's history of collapsing in the playoffs. Don't get me wrong, though - Peyton Manning was by far the single best player who took the field in Week 1.
7. I'm not sure what to make of the Bills/Patriots game. The Bills have played the Patriots close in a few games over the last couple years, and they've fooled me into thinking they could pull off the upset in the past. However, I've made no secret over how down I am on the Patriots this year, so the question here is where do the Bills' positives end and the Patriots' negatives begin? Danny Amendola wasted no time in pulling a groin injury during the game (though he did return after a brief absence), so it's only a question of when he winds up injuring himself to the point of having to miss a couple weeks. The Patriots still did what they have done countless times in the past, and that's kick a game-winning field goal late in the 4th quarter.
8. The only reason why the Eagles might not win the NFC East is because of their defense. I'm still sticking to my prediction of the Eagles pulling off the improbable by winning their division this year. I'm actually more confident of my prediction now than I was prior to this weekend, though it's clear the team's major weakness is its defense. How else does a team at one point lead a game 33-7, and then wind up with a final score of 33-27? Despite this glaring weakness though, I am still believing in the team winning the division and making the playoffs.
9. Nearly all these snap judgments will be moot a month from now. That's the great irony to Week 1. Football fans and talking heads are all so excited to have the new season start, but after the first weekend, teams are either looking like Super Bowl champions or utter disasters. Eyes are particularly on the defending champs, and plenty of writers and fans are wondering if they'll even make the playoffs this season. Reality is always somewhere between extremes, and I think the Ravens will still win the AFC North and make a deep playoff run. Accuse me of wearing purple-colored glasses all you like, but they won't be as awful as they were in the second half of the game Thursday night.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Recognizing My Greatest Fault
I wrote a while back about my intention to find a therapist after a recent issue that came up with me. I haven't talked about it since because most of our discussions so far have been too personal for me to want to write about them openly on here. This week's session, however, really shed some light on a big picture issue that I've been somewhat aware of for a long time, yet chose to ignore.
As far back as I can remember, I've avoided conflict as much as possible. I've long thought of myself as a very agreeable and easy-going person, one who doesn't let too much get under his skin. If someone did something to hurt me, I'm more than willing to forgive and forget, provided the person recognizes what he/she had done was wrong and hurt me in the process. I've never been a person who has either been comfortable with or enjoyed chewing someone else out, even if I'm in the right. I hated the idea of getting emotionally worked up over something to the point of really getting angry, only to find out my anger wasn't justified in the first place. I often talked myself out of being angry, thinking I was being mature and level-headed in analyzing the situation in question, and then deciding if it was really worth getting upset over at all. More often than not, I opted for burying the hatchet and moving on. Life was too short and precious in my eyes to agonize over someone hurting my feelings.
Trouble is, this line of thinking formed a pattern of passive aggressiveness. It's clearly been a part of my life since childhood, and it's affected many relationships over the course of my life - dating and otherwise - and even now in the present. My fear of rocking the boat morphed into fears like making bad decisions, saying something that I would regret later, and an inability to really express my feelings to others. Having a preoccupation of being a people pleaser at my own sanity's expense was anything but healthy, even though in my mind I was convinced I was taking the high road in avoiding expressing anger.
Up until now, my therapist has allowed me to talk about any subject that I wanted to discuss, but this week's session she took a left turn. She said now that we've been meeting for several weeks, she's gotten a feel for who I am as a person, how I'm likely to respond in certain situations, and what kinds of comments or recommendations she has for me. She gave me a homework assignment to do in preparation for our next meeting, and I have to research passive aggressive behavior.
So far, the one piece of information that caught my attention the most was a form of covert abuse. When the word "abuse" comes to mind, I always picture something of a physical or emotional nature. It's very direct, and easily identifiable.
This kind of abuse is much, much different. From what I've read, it involves behaviors like forgetfulness, blaming, procrastination, lack of anger, and victimization - all of which I've definitely been guilty of in the past. While I'm sure that I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing at the time, it doesn't change the fact that what I did was hurtful and selfish. The crappy part is that most people probably wouldn't get too upset with me if I simply chose to speak my mind and communicate my feelings.
I almost didn't want to write about this because the subject could easily turn into one of two things: a pity party or a cry for attention. It certainly isn't meant to be either of those; I'm finally being honest with myself, and this blog is probably the most healthy venue to get my thoughts out. I mentioned this blog to my therapist last week too, and she agreed that it's a good way to get my emotions out when I need to, even if I write a post that I opt not to openly publish (which I have done several times).
I don't expect or want a pat on the back for making this kind of realization. If anything, I'm hoping that this opens the door for more breakthroughs that are for my benefit, even if the initial reveal isn't something pleasant. Then again, there's little point in trying to become mentally healthy if I don't confront some unpleasant things about myself at all.
As far back as I can remember, I've avoided conflict as much as possible. I've long thought of myself as a very agreeable and easy-going person, one who doesn't let too much get under his skin. If someone did something to hurt me, I'm more than willing to forgive and forget, provided the person recognizes what he/she had done was wrong and hurt me in the process. I've never been a person who has either been comfortable with or enjoyed chewing someone else out, even if I'm in the right. I hated the idea of getting emotionally worked up over something to the point of really getting angry, only to find out my anger wasn't justified in the first place. I often talked myself out of being angry, thinking I was being mature and level-headed in analyzing the situation in question, and then deciding if it was really worth getting upset over at all. More often than not, I opted for burying the hatchet and moving on. Life was too short and precious in my eyes to agonize over someone hurting my feelings.
Trouble is, this line of thinking formed a pattern of passive aggressiveness. It's clearly been a part of my life since childhood, and it's affected many relationships over the course of my life - dating and otherwise - and even now in the present. My fear of rocking the boat morphed into fears like making bad decisions, saying something that I would regret later, and an inability to really express my feelings to others. Having a preoccupation of being a people pleaser at my own sanity's expense was anything but healthy, even though in my mind I was convinced I was taking the high road in avoiding expressing anger.
Up until now, my therapist has allowed me to talk about any subject that I wanted to discuss, but this week's session she took a left turn. She said now that we've been meeting for several weeks, she's gotten a feel for who I am as a person, how I'm likely to respond in certain situations, and what kinds of comments or recommendations she has for me. She gave me a homework assignment to do in preparation for our next meeting, and I have to research passive aggressive behavior.
So far, the one piece of information that caught my attention the most was a form of covert abuse. When the word "abuse" comes to mind, I always picture something of a physical or emotional nature. It's very direct, and easily identifiable.
This kind of abuse is much, much different. From what I've read, it involves behaviors like forgetfulness, blaming, procrastination, lack of anger, and victimization - all of which I've definitely been guilty of in the past. While I'm sure that I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing at the time, it doesn't change the fact that what I did was hurtful and selfish. The crappy part is that most people probably wouldn't get too upset with me if I simply chose to speak my mind and communicate my feelings.
I almost didn't want to write about this because the subject could easily turn into one of two things: a pity party or a cry for attention. It certainly isn't meant to be either of those; I'm finally being honest with myself, and this blog is probably the most healthy venue to get my thoughts out. I mentioned this blog to my therapist last week too, and she agreed that it's a good way to get my emotions out when I need to, even if I write a post that I opt not to openly publish (which I have done several times).
I don't expect or want a pat on the back for making this kind of realization. If anything, I'm hoping that this opens the door for more breakthroughs that are for my benefit, even if the initial reveal isn't something pleasant. Then again, there's little point in trying to become mentally healthy if I don't confront some unpleasant things about myself at all.
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