NFL 2014 Week 1 Snap Judgments

This was supposed to be a fun and excited post.

It was supposed to be something that I was looking forward to writing, something that sets the stage for Week 2.

Instead, this Week 1 recap was laborious and quite difficult to write.  It almost felt inappropriate to put it together in light of yesterday's events.  I've already talked about Ray Rice in a previous post, but in light of the developments yesterday, I have a whole lot more to say about it.  That will be later this week.

For now, let's get into Week 1.

1. There were some pretty incredible comebacks.  The Dolphins, Falcons, and Eagles all had to dig themselves out of holes early on in their respective games.  The Eagles in particular blinked and suddenly saw a 17-0 deficit against the lowly Jaguars, only to right the ship by the second half.  Nick Foles could have found himself as the Goat of the Week had the Eagles lost the game.

Meanwhile, the Falcons were in a dogfight with the Saints, exchanging leads back and forth before the game went into overtime.  Matt Ryan had a career performance for the Falcons, throwing for 448 yards and 3 touchdowns.  It's only one game, but the Falcons may be more improved from last season than I had expected.

2. And then there were some near misses.  The Browns, Ravens, Bears, Patriots, and Saints all found themselves on the short end of the stick this weekend.  The Browns were essentially dead and buried in Pittsburgh at halftime, down 27-3.  Somehow, the Steelers' defense took their collective feet off the gas, allowing the Browns to come all the way back and tie the game up by the 4th quarter.  Brian Hoyer isn't going to lose his job to Johnny Manziel without putting up his best fight, regardless of not having Josh Gordon this season.

As for the Ravens, all I will say is Chykie Brown had no business covering A.J. Green on his own.  Either put Jimmy Smith on him, or have a safety backing Brown up.  That's the second consecutive Ravens/Bengals game in Baltimore where Green came down with a bobbled pass, so the Ravens have to be better prepared for him when they meet again in Cincinnati later this season.

3. And then there were some good ol' fashioned butt-kicking.  The Texans laid into the Redskins all day by getting their fearsome front seven in Robert Griffin III's face.  J.J. Watt showed once again why he is the premiere defensive end in the entire league by bringing constant pressure on RGIII, sacking him once and hitting him five other times.  The Texans' major liability will be their offense led by their quarterback play, but their defense will be fine.*

Meanwhile, in St. Louis, the Vikings ran backwards and forwards over the Rams.  The Vikings' defensive front brought all kinds of pressure on Shaun Hill and Austin Davis, compiling five sacks and picking off two passes. Cordarelle Patterson was a one-man offense, rushing for 102 yards and a touchdown, while also adding another 26 yards in receiving.  The Rams managed to contain Adrian Peterson, but they couldn't do a thing about Patterson.

4. *Though the Texans will be without Jadaveon Clowney for a while.  Clowney tore his meniscus Sunday, which will sideline him for 4-6 weeks.  There are always big names who go down with serious injuries in the first week of the season, so hopefully Clowney will still be effective once he returns.  The likelihood of him being Defensive Rookie of the Year is somewhere between slim and none, given the amount of time that he'll miss.  Both Clowney and the Texans have to be hoping this injury won't be a bad omen of things to come for his career, especially when taking into account he already had surgery on his shoulder after the Texans had drafted him.

5. The Seahawks still look incredibly dominant.  Solid defense and a strong running game will win just about any team at least 10 games in the NFL.  A suffocating defense and elite running game will win at least 12 games in most cases, which is precisely what the Seahawks have.  Russell Wilson can make plays with both his arm and legs, translating to the Seahawks still being the team to beat in the NFC.  They took the second half of Thursday night's game into overdrive, marching right over top the Packers, who suddenly could already be in trouble after losing Bryan Bulaga again to an MCL sprain in his knee.

6. The Cowboys' defense deserve the Goat of the Week Award.  The 49ers needed only 4 offensive plays in the first quarter Sunday to be up 21-3 over the Cowboys (albeit one touchdown was a fumble recovery returned for a score).  The sloppy tackling (particularly the missed tackle on Colin Kaepernick on Vernon Davis's first touchdown catch on the day) is something Cowboys fans will likely have to get used to for the season.  I had originally picked the Cowboys to win 6 games this year, but if their defense doesn't improve that might have been an overestimation.

7. Julius Thomas is going to be very expensive for the Broncos to lock him up long term.  Thomas has a breakout year in 2013, and he started off his 2014 season with 3 more touchdown receptions.  Denver is using him in very similar fashion to how the Saints use Jimmy Graham and the Patriots use Rob Gronkowski.  If Thomas has another year of double-digit touchdowns, he's going to face some serious demand on the free agent market when his contract is up after this season.

8. Jim Caldwell may be a better offensive mind than most people expected.  Granted, the Lions played a bad team in the Giants Monday night, but their offense actually looked stronger and more efficient than when Jim Schwartz called the shots.  During Caldwell's short time as offensive coordinator in Baltimore, he designed an offense that compiled plenty of yards and put points up on the board in 2012 with quality players on the field.  Last year, he wasn't able to do that thanks in part to a patchwork offensive line and an awful running game.  Now that he has a receiver like Calvin Johnson to use, he'll be able to make the Lions a quality football team.

9. The 49ers may be okay after all.  Between player suspensions, Ray McDonald, and Jim Harbaugh's alleged head-butting with ownership and the players, the 49ers looked prime for a fall this season.  Add in the Cardinals being better, and I almost thought they'd fail to make the playoffs for first time under Harbaugh.  Again, it's only one game, but they looked dominant over Dallas on Sunday.  They can put points on the board against anyone in the league, and that's going to keep them in a lot of football games.  

2014 NFL Predictions Sure to Go Wrong

Here we go again - it wouldn't be August without my annual NFL season predictions.  I'm neck deep in Orioles Orange Fever at the moment, but that won't stop me from talking football.  Believe it or not, this year makes five years of predictions.  As usual, if history tells us anything, be prepared for at least 7 of these predictions to look silly by season's end.; go back at my previous season predictions if you don't believe me.  With that said....

1. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will win the NFC South.  You may recall my prediction last year about the Eagles being the upstart team to rebound from a last-place finish in 2012 to win their division in 2013.  I expect the Bucs to be this year's edition of this long-running trend.  They have a stout defense, they'll have Doug Martin back from a torn ACL, and they drafted Mike Evans who will have a heavy impact on the offense as a rookie.  The elephant in the room about Tampa is what kind of play can they expect at QB, which is the key to their entire season.  I expect Josh McCown to play effectively enough for the Bucs to win double-digit games.  I also doubt the Falcons will be much better than they were last year, and the Panthers played over their heads for most of last season.  The Saints will be the heavy competition within the division for the Bucs, and I think they will play just slightly better than New Orleans in 2014.

2. Demaryius Thomas will break Randy Moss's single season touchdown reception record.  Moss set his record in 2007 when the Patriots went 16-0 during the regular season.  The Patriots had also set the record for most points scored by an offense that season, which was shattered by the Broncos last year.  The next offensive record previously set by a Patriot that a Bronco will break will be Thomas surpassing Moss's touchdown reception total of 23.  Despite Denver's seemingly-endless supply of wide receivers and tight ends for Peyton Manning to target, Thomas will have a career year in 2014.  Fantasy football geeks will love his performance, especially those lucky enough to double dip and have both Manning and Thomas.

3. The Dallas Cowboys will lose at least 10 games and Jason Garrett will finally be fired.  The Cowboys have been the poster child of mediocrity the last three years, having won 8 games every season.  In a season where they hope to take the next step up in the NFC East, they will instead step backwards, winning no more than 6 games.  The Redskins will be much better than they were last year, the Giants will be at least average, and the Eagles are still the best team in the division.  Jason Garrett could be fired as early as Week 11 when the Cowboys enter their bye week.  There will be some major changes coming to Dallas very soon.

4. Jay Cutler will have a better statistical year than Aaron Rodgers.  To be more specific, Cutler will throw for more yards and touchdowns than Rodgers will.  The reasoning for my logic is fairly simple: Cutler has Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffrey, and Martellus Bennett to throw the ball to, all of whom are far better than Rodgers's three best targets.  The Bears are going to be a really good team this year, getting into the playoffs by winning the NFC North.  I also expect the Packers to struggle quite a bit this season because...

5. The Green Bay Packers will fail to make the playoffs for the first time since 2008.  Fun piece of trivia: Entering the 2014 season, the Packers are tied with the Patriots for the longest active streak of consecutive seasons with playoff appearances.  That streak will come to an end this season for the Packers for a couple reasons.  I already said I'm picking the Bears to win the NFC North, and the Saints are good enough to compete with the Bucs for the NFC South title (since I've picked the Bucs to win the South, I think the Saints will get one of the two Wild Cards in the NFC).  That leaves one Wild Card spot for teams like the Redskins, Lions, and Packers to fight for, in addition to the dog fight that will happen in the NFC West.  That's one of the toughest log jams imaginable, and I don't see luck falling the Packers' way this season.

6. Marshawn Lynch will lead the league in rushing yards and rushing touchdowns.  "Beast Mode" has been one of the best running backs in the league the last three years since he was traded to Seattle from Buffalo.  Had he elected to hold out of camp like he had threatened originally I might not have made this pick since holdout players rarely perform well once the season starts.  Since he will have nearly a complete training camp, Lynch will have a career year of his own as the Seahawks defend their Super Bowl title.  In fact, while we're talking running backs...

7. Giovani Bernard will finish in the top five in rushing yards this season.  Bernard was the back up to BenJarvus Green-Ellis in Cincinnati last year, but this year the roles will flip flop as Bernard will be one of the big breakout players in the league this season.  Last year, Bernard gained 695 yards on 170 carries, but I think both those numbers will jump significantly in 2014. The highest any Bengal has finished in rushing yard totals since 2002 was sixth when Rudi Johnson finished with 1454 yards in 2004.  The Bengals have a great young running back now in Bernard, and he will show his stuff this season.

8. The Houston Texans will still draft in the top 10 in May.  The Texans were one of the most disappointing teams last year, winning only their first two games of the season, and then dropping every game thereafter.  A new GM and head coach later, and the team is working towards competing again after winning the division in 2011 and 2012.  They will not win more than 5 games this season though, largely because their offense is either old or below average.  Their defense, particularly their front seven, will continue to be their strength.  Their inability to draft a franchise quarterback in May will set them back for the time being, but few people discuss their key offensive play makers, Andre Johnson and Arian Foster, are both in the twilight of their careers.  In addition to their internal issues, their divisional rival Jaguars are quickly building up both sides of the ball and could be competitive in the next year or so if their rookie QB Brian Bortles shows promise.

9. Andrew Luck will be the league MVP.  Luck has already shown he has the qualities a team and organization needs to be a franchise quarterback.  He's quickly led the Colts back to being competitive after their awful 2011 season, and now that he's reached year three of his career, he will take the next step with the team.  Even though I'm a measly little blogger who writes only for the fun of it, I usually look at a QB's completion percentage and his TD/INT ratio to evaluate his overall performance.  Luck's completion percentage increased by 6% from 2012 to 2013, and if he gets his percentage up to 63-64% in 2014 (which would be another 3-4% increase from last year), he'll move into the top tier in the league in that stat.  His TD/INT ratio was cut in half over the same period though, but I attribute a lot of that to poor offensive line play and losing Reggie Wayne halfway through the season.  If that ratio jumps back up to around 2.5:1 or even 3:1, he can lead the Colts to a deep playoff run.  In fact, I expect the Colts to even get past the big dogs in the AFC, except....

10. The Philadelphia Eagles will bring home the Lombardi trophy for the first time and defeat the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl 49.  Chip Kelly already has shown his offensive style can put 40 points on the board on any given Sunday, and losing DeSean Jackson to the Redskins will prove to be no matter for the team.  The Eagles have Jeremy Maclin back and they added Darren Sproles to bolster their running and passing game.  I'm not about to predict the Eagles will break the Broncos' offensive scoring record set only last year, but it won't really matter.  Philly fans will finally get a taste of what it's like to win an NFL championship come February 2015. 

The Long, Hard Path to Forgiveness

I've stayed very, very silent about the Ray Rice story that started in February, both on this blog and in life.  I know him based largely on his public persona he's had during his career to date, which is roughly the same as any other Ravens fan.  I've followed him on Facebook as well, and I always admired him for taking such a hard stand against bullying among children.  He's always been a likable guy, and he's also been one of the better players on the team for his career prior to last season.

I can't possibly sit here and claim I know him better than most other non-Ravens fans.  The stuff I do know about him is essentially public record, the kinds of facts that most anyone can Google on their own time.  Because of that, I'd never claim to have any special insight into him or his character beyond what most anyone else could find out on their own.

Last week, the NFL handed out its suspension of Ray Rice for the first two games of the 2014 season after his legal punishment had been completed in New Jersey courts.  The league office took what had felt like an exorbitant amount of time in deciding what kind of punishment should be levied on Rice; when the news finally did break, I have to admit I was a little surprised that Rice was served a two-game suspension and a fine.  Columnists both in the sports world and in the general news have had plenty to say over the last several days offering their opinions on the subject, most of whom felt the NFL was exceedingly soft on Rice.

I'm really torn on this whole situation.  Part of me feels it's the right level of suspension for reasons which I will get into.  Another side of me sees things from a different perspective.

The popular notion that Rice got off lightly is in large part to comparing his suspension to other players in the league who have tested positive for banned substances such as marijuana.  I've read plenty of articles and comments from fans who all see a major issue with the league's priorities if they give the impression that they care more about a player who does something as arguably benign as smoking weed over a man who punched his then-fiance, now-wife.

Here's my problem with that argument: there is a huge difference between the substance abuse policy and the personal conduct policy.  The league's stance on substance abuse is very detailed in the collective bargaining agreement with the players' union.  Players know exactly which substances are considered illegal, and the consequences should they ever test positive for a banned substance.  Marijuana may be something very weak in the eyes of the general public, but the league still considers it a banned substance.  Players like Josh Gordon and Justin Blackmon have already been handed suspensions after testing positive for marijuana use (multiple times, in fact), so I have no sympathy for a player who repeatedly and knowingly breaks the rules.

The personal conduct policy is much more of a gray area.  Commissioner Roger Goodell evaluates every case on his own, and issues the punishment himself.  Should a player appeal his decision, he re-evaluates the case and may reduce the punishment.  It's extremely arbitrary, and many times the punishments that have been handed out since Goodell became league commissioner have at least appeared to be inconsistent with each other.

The closest example I can think of to Ray Rice's situation is Ben Roethlisberger, which in fairness isn't really an apples to apples comparison.  Ben had three well-documented cases against him: his motorcycle accident and two women accusing him of sexual assault.  Formal charges in the sexual assault cases were never filed, but the sheer accusations were enough to paint him in a very bad light.

Ben's reputation for being a party boy got so bad that Steelers fans wanted him run out of Pittsburgh (and this was after he had won two Super Bowls with the team).  He eventually had to face the music by meeting both Steelers president Art Rooney and Roger Goodell.  He was ultimately served a six-game suspension, which was appealed and reduced to four games.

The big difference between Ben and Rice is that Ben had a much longer list of poor judgment, misconduct, and alleged criminal actions.  None of that reduces the severity of Rice's one run in with the law to date, but it does somewhat explain why Ben was served a longer suspension than Rice.  To his credit, Ben has straightened out his behavior since then, and has largely been a model citizen in the Pittsburgh community.

If Rice had any previous history of domestic violence with his now-wife (or any previous relationship, for that matter), I would think the police and/or prosecutor in his case would have found evidence via medical records of injuries.  Had any such evidence been found, that information would almost certainly have been leaked to the media (and the public) somehow.  The prosecution would have thrown the book at Rice and pressed for the case to go to trial so he could be put behind bars, which would have been completely deserved in that instance.  Once the prosecution had offered Rice a plea bargain deal that would expunge the entire incident from his record, that pretty much said there was no previous history of domestic violence.

Make no mistake though; none of that minimizes the severity of Rice's alleged crime.  He definitely got off lightly, both in the eyes of the law and in the NFL.  He still faces judgment in the court of public opinion, one that will likely hang over him far longer than his legal proceedings.  However, given this was his first ever crime committed and the precedents set before him, the suspension seems appropriate to me.

Right now I probably sound like a Ravens homer, blindly defending one of my team's key players.  However, there's another important perspective on this story that has given me pause when thinking about Ray Rice.

You may recall the story of my acquaintance who was beaten to death by her ex-boyfriend two years ago.  The small comfort in that case is that the ex-boyfriend was found guilty and sentenced to prison for Amber's murder, so she can finally rest in peace.  My dear friend who was very close to Amber for years had since taken it upon herself to work tirelessly to campaign for GPS tracking devices for men charged with domestic violence so their victims will know if/when they are nearby.

Just yesterday, my friend posted on Facebook that a writer for ESPN had been researching domestic violence cases and found Amber's story.  His research led him to contacting my friend about her work on GPS units, and he wanted to talk to her about her efforts in light of the Ray Rice case, as well as her thoughts on the case itself.  I'm incredibly proud of her work and how it's reached such a huge emotional impact on people across the country.

I can't just summarily dismiss Ray Rice's case, given Amber's story.  I want to believe that Rice had never struck a woman prior to February's incident.  His own father-in-law even forgave him for his action, which also seems to indicate he had never done anything like that before.  The warning signs that were clearly there with Amber and her ex aren't there with Rice and his wife Janay.

Yet, I'm sitting here thinking about my 3-year-old niece.  What would I - or my brother-in-law, for that matter - do if she eventually dated a guy and came home one day with a black eye?  I've joked many times that if such a thing ever happened, nobody would ever find the body of the kid responsible for hitting her.  I don't think I'd be so quick to forgive and forget a boy who would have given my niece a black eye (or worse). It's incredibly easy to forgive someone else who you want to trust and believe, but it's an entirely different situation when your own family member is involved.

The media has been accusing the NFL over the last week of not truly caring about its women fans, given the outcome of Ray Rice's case.  The NFL has campaigned hard over the last decade or so to market itself to women, largely by dedicating the month of October to breast cancer support.  I'm sure that when the Ravens play their road games in October, and Ray Rice takes the field wearing pink arm bands to show his support, fans of other teams will boo him loudly and fiercely for his apparent two-faced attitude.  I still don't know if I'll wear my Rice jersey any time soon, but his press conference today finally showed the kind of remorse and contrition that he needed to show all along.  The first step is always the hardest in a situation like this, and maybe we all can forgive and forget.

UPDATE: The ESPN article has gone online, and here it is.  It's an exceptionally well-written piece, and the author seems to share many of my feelings about Ray Rice and the entire case.

Ix-nay Egas-vay

My neurotic side really came out in my last post.  Like, way more than even I was aware of until I recently went back and re-read it.  A lot has changed since then, which is the point of this post.

Over the last couple months, my therapist and I had agreed that I had accomplished many of the goals I had set for myself when we first started meeting nearly a year ago.  We had been meeting twice a month for a while, and then scaled back to only once a month.  During our most recent session, we had concluded that it was time for me to "graduate," since things were largely going in a good direction for me.  She's still only a phone call away though, so she's available if/when I need her.

One of the big things that we had discussed during our last session was my upcoming trip to Vegas.  I've calmed down a lot since May, and I was back to the point of being really excited about going.  One of my best friends had moved out to San Diego back in April, so my buddy who was also part of the bachelor party and I had made plans for our friend to stay with us in Vegas since we'd be relatively close by.

That was, until the bachelor found out about our plans.

The bachelor contacted my buddy and me separately to ask what was going on when he found out about our friend meeting us in Vegas (the bachelor and our friend don't know each other at all).  I asked if having our friend staying with us would be an issue, and the bachelor thought it was a little weird.  He said he had invited the two of us to party with him all weekend long, but he didn't want some random extra guy tagging along.  I said we were going to see our buddy during down time, but we were both going to do some of the group events that had been discussed over email.  I didn't think there was much of a problem here.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

The bachelor de-vited us both from the weekend getaway and refunded our money for the hotel.  At first, I got his point: he had a specific group of guys he wanted to be with for that weekend, and he didn't want some other random people just joining in who he didn't know.  My buddy saw things differently; he thought the bachelor was being selfish and unreasonable.  My buddy didn't see any real problem with having one extra guy stay in our hotel room for the weekend so that we could hang out with him for part of the time we'd be in Vegas.  The way I saw things, it was the bachelor's weekend, so he could call the shots on who was part of the group and who wouldn't be.

I stirred over this for a day or so.  My buddy has never had an issue with discussing how angry he can get over an argument, and this incident was no exception.  He couldn't wrap his head over why I disagreed with him, especially after he had talked it over with some other friends of ours, all of whom thought the bachelor was being unreasonable.

Eventually I talked it over with my awesome roommate to get her insight into it.  It was at this point that I started coming around to my buddy's side of the table.  My roommate had one simple thought on the subject, and it was this: IT'S VEGAS.  These guys were bound to party up the weekend with all kinds of random people while they're out there.  They're more than likely to run into other bachelor parties as well, and probably other random people while they're out and about.  It's a complete contradiction in terms to suggest the bachelor doesn't want random people joining their group when they're going to a place like Vegas.

Once I had put some thought into it, I realized my buddy was right all along.  The bachelor was being unreasonable, and he may not even realize how stupid his thinking was until well after he returns from Vegas.  Still, I can't get too upset over it for some other reasons which I won't get into here.

Fortunately, I didn't lose out on my airfare for travel.  I cancelled the flight reservation with Southwest, but the good news is that the money I had already spent on the flight can be used for another trip between now and May next year.  I'm thinking now it may be worth it to travel out to San Diego directly since I've never been there before, which would probably be more fun than a weekend in Vegas anyway.

Dr. Commonsense, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Airplane Bathrooms

We all have weird, neurotic things about personalities.  I've been conscious of mine ever since childhood, and while I've outgrown many of those wacky things about me, there are a couple that have stuck with me to this day.  There's a point I have here which I'll get into in a bit, but I have to jump forwards and then back up later on to add context.

My therapist and I have been working largely on my various anxieties the last couple months.  We've made enough progress that we had recently agreed to meet twice a month now instead of weekly.  Obviously if the sky was falling on me for some reason, I could call her and schedule an appointment outside of our routine, but I don't expect that to happen.

Anyway, I had a huge anxiety over an invite I had accepted to attend a bachelor party in Vegas the weekend after my birthday in August.  I've been invited to go on all sorts of trips and getaways in the past, and while the invites were always appreciated, I never felt comfortable accepting.  I was mostly concerned about affording the cost of the trip, and how things like airfare and hotel rooms would be expensive, but there's also food and drink to add on top.  That doesn't even include any kinds of souvenirs I might want to buy while on a vacation.

I hated having to pass up those opportunities because of concern over affording them, but I felt it was a necessary evil.  Now that I'm living more comfortably and have some money saved up, I could accept the invite to go on this bachelor party.  Here's where my neurotic self came into play though: When the time finally came last week to book the flight for the trip, I suddenly found myself getting gun shy about it.

I was pricing flights and found a reasonable cost on Southwest, but when it came time to hit the "purchase" button on the computer screen, I was clamming up.  It was pure commitment phobia; I had no problem telling friends and family that I was going on this trip over the last few weeks.  In fact, I was excited to talk about it.  But when the moment of truth came along, I felt my stomach turning itself in knots over truly crossing the point of no return.

My thoughts were going in several directions.  I thought about whether it would be a good investment of my money to go on this trip at all in the first place.  I thought about needing new tires for my car in the next few months, and whether the money used on this trip would be better served there.  I thought about whether I'd really enjoy myself out there, and whether I might ruin the trip for others if I wanted to call it a night while the rest of the guys wanted to keep partying (yes, I am completely aware this is Vegas I'm talking about and how it's virtually impossible to be bored out there).

And if you thought that last paragraph was loony, you haven't seen anything yet.

I had intentionally booked my flight to make sure I had a layover.  You read that right; I wanted a layover.  When I told the bachelor and my buddy also going on the trip about this, they thought I was the craziest man alive.  I have a very specific reason why I want a layover on a long flight, and that is my issue with the bathrooms on a plane.

I hate the bathrooms on planes for a number of reasons.  While claustrophobia has never bothered me to any great degree, the sheer size (or lack thereof) in those airplane bathrooms bothers me.  I'm 6'1, so I'm a fairly large guy, and I don't squeeze into tight spots very well.  The bigger problem I have with those bathrooms is the hygiene.  Let's not kid ourselves; airplane bathrooms stink.  I've never used one on any flight I've ever taken, and it's in large part to the issue over how reliable those toilets are.  I don't trust them, and I don't want to be stuck in there if I can avoid it.

Without going into too many more gory details, I will say that I prefer long flights with a layover so I can leave a plane for a little while and avoid the airplane bathroom in the process.  I did it when I went to Phoenix several years ago, as well as when I went to the Caymans with my last girlfriend two years ago.  I'm well aware this issue prohibits me from going to some pretty exotic places in this world, namely Europe.

By now it sounds like I might need to be put in a strait jacket and hauled off to Sheppard Pratt.  I talked about all this with my therapist last night during our session, and she talked some sense into me.  Since I was aware of how nutty I sounded, I was probably making her job a little easier in the process.  I think my issue with airplane bathrooms is mostly a fear of the unknown - whether the toilet will work properly in there.

Sheesh, the more I write about this, the crazier I think I sound.

The short version of the advice my therapist had for me was, "CALM DOWN."  The sky would not fall if I did in fact have to use the restroom on an airplane, especially if I did find myself flying somewhere that wouldn't allow for a layover.  She even had recommended taking a Xanax the day prior to my flight so I can be more relaxed on the plane.

A little common sense shockingly can go a long way.  My therapist also asked me about what I do to vent stress, and I mentioned this blog, as well as going to the gym that I had recently joined.  She thought both ideas were healthy venues to let loose some stress, particularly the gym.  I've known for a long, long time that I need to get in better shape, so I'm trying to stick to my schedule of at least 3-4 gym visits a week.

Maybe that's where I've gone wrong for so long.  Like I said at the beginning here, everybody has something neurotic about themselves, and it's just a question of how they handle the crazy side.  There are clean freaks, there are tightwads when it comes to money, and there are food snobs, just to name a few kinds.  My neurosis happens to be bathrooms.  It's a sensitive subject, sure, and it's one that not many people are comfortable talking about.  I just never did much to really address how to vent stress or anxiety of any kind - bathrooms or otherwise.  Now that I have a couple good forms of release, I'll be able to enjoy my trip to Vegas this summer.

Funny how the whole idea of a fun trip for a bachelor party got lost in all that.  That's something worth thinking about too.

Cold, Hard Truth

I went to church yesterday for the first time in years.

Returning to church was something I'd wanted to do for a very long time, and there's been a church I've enjoyed going to for years, though depending on where I was living I couldn't consistently attend it.  Now that I'm in an area that is reasonably close to it again, I decided I'd go back for Easter Sunday.  The good news is that the church is still very much how I remember it, and I definitely plan on regularly attending again.

Yesterday being Easter, the pastor's sermon was obviously going to surround the death and resurrection of Christ.  However, one of the things I've liked most about the pastor about this church was that he has never just picked a random passage from the Bible and chose to talk about its significance in his sermons.  Rather, he takes modern-day situations that we all face - addiction, loss, stress, family, you name it - and he applies Biblical principles to it.  I've gotten more from his sermons than I probably ever have from previous churches I've been to in life, which is the big reason why I want to continue going.

His sermon was titled "Image Isn't Everything."  It was one of those classic moments where I'm socked right in the gut from hearing him speak, like this sermon was written specifically for my ears.  He always made great use of props when he spoke, and yesterday was no exception.  There was a mirror sitting on a table the entire service, and it wasn't until he delivered his sermon that its relevance was made clear.  The crux of his words was mostly about what we all see when we look at our reflections in the mirror.  Do we like what we see?  Are we happy with ourselves?  Or do we look at our physical imperfections instead?  Do we keep looking deeper, thinking more about the spiritual aspects that we don't like?

He started writing words on the mirror, mostly negative things that we may think about when we see our reflections.  Words like liar, greedy, filthy, ugly, shame, and unworthy.  Words that cloud our judgment when we see ourselves in private and keep us from feeling worthy of others who may love us.  We deceive ourselves by buying into these lies, which not only hurt our relationships with God, but also with each other.  We keep many secrets out of fear that if anyone knew the truth about us, we'd be seen as frauds or hypocrites.

Talk about tough words to hear.  I know I've been guilty of doing just that kind of behavior more times than I can count, especially when I've looked at myself in the mirror.  I can't begin to guess just how many times over the years I've done that, and I still do it to this day at least on occasion.

The mirror was eventually covered with so many negative words that the pastor's own reflection was barely visible.  Then he wrote one more word over top of all the rest, and that word was pride.  Pride is a funny little thing.  On one hand, there's nothing wrong with taking a little pride in our individual accomplishments in life (I know I have).  However, pride can easily translate to stubbornness, and dig even deeper holes for us to be stuck in.

Finally came the zinger.  With all those words in marker covering up the mirror, the pastor then said we take things upon ourselves to fix the mess.  He took a paper towel and tried cleaning off all the marker, but it only smeared the ink over the mirror.  Nothing was left legible or visible.  He then said there's another word for what can describe what we do when we attempt to fix our own attempts, and that word was religion.

I know plenty of people who are very opposed to organized religion.  Some of my best friends are openly hateful of spirituality and religious beliefs for a multitude of reasons.  They regularly point out people who had acted in history in the name of their religious beliefs, only to really be acting in their own personal interests.  They also talk about the sheer lunacy of religion in general, questioning why God would allow any kind of tragedy to happen in this world if He truly loved us.  I can't really argue with them on either of those points since human logic can't explain either one.  Religion has dirtied the concept of spiritualism throughout history, thanks to regular people trying to act in the name of God and failing miserably in the process.

I'm not educated enough on spiritual issues to be able to adequately respond to friends of mine who disagree with religious dogma.  Whether I'll ever get to that point is open for debate, but it certainly won't happen with only attending one service on Easter Sunday.  I learned something important Sunday, and I took it home with me afterwards.  That's far from the first time I've ever learned something from attending this church, and now that I live fairly close by it again I plan on learning a whole lot more from it.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of Hank Aaron breaking Babe Ruth's all-time home run record.  The Braves put together a big ceremony to commemorate the event, and several newspapers and news outlets have interviewed Aaron on a number of subjects in the last few days.  One such interview was in USA Today, and Hank Aaron commented on some of the racist threats he had faced while chasing the Babe's record, as well as how racism has changed, if at all, over the years.

I have several thoughts in reaction to Hank's comments, but before I get into them let me start with this: I hate that anyone had threatened him while he was chasing 715 home runs.  I hate such a momentous occasion was sullied somewhat because some supremacists didn't like Hammerin' Hank because he's black.  I hate that some of those same supremacists exist today and still hold grudges over Hank 40 years later.  I don't even like using the word "hate" in conversation often, but I think this is one of the few times it truly applies.

No matter what kind of hate-mongering Hank Aaron had faced back in the 70s, nothing will ever take away from a timeless moment like this one:

My thoughts on Hank's comments are more about where racism is today.  He said that 40 years ago, racists were easy to spot because they wore white hoods.  Now they're in $1000 suits and designer ties.  We've made progress, he said, because we have our first-ever black President, now in his second term in office.  But there's still work to do in his eyes, for a number of reasons.  First, he said Obama has had to deal with racist backlash from Republicans in Congress.  In the world of baseball, he also noted how the number of black players had dropped from what it was in 1974 to what it is now.

I agree with some of those comments.  Yes, a racist's "look" certainly has changed, and many of them do wear suits now.  The number of black players in baseball has diminished in the last 40 years as well.  What Aaron had failed to note is baseball has evolved to include players of all kinds of ethnic backgrounds.  There is an extremely large number of Latino players in baseball now, as well as a significant number of Asian-born players.  Moreover, the number of black athletes in sports like basketball and football has dramatically increased in the last four decades, so it's not like the number of black athletes across the board has dropped (though I do realize the obvious special place Hank Aaron has for baseball in his heart).

There's a much larger issue here though.  I strongly disagree with Aaron on ethnic slandering in politics.  Republicans don't dislike Obama because he's black; they dislike him because of his political philosophies.  Hilary Clinton could be in the White House and Republicans would dislike her for the same philosophical reasons (though in her case, they'd likely be categorized as misogynists).  I may be a white, moderate conservative, but I can tell you Obama's ethnicity isn't even something that enters my mind when I think about my opinions of him.  It's fairly insulting to presume that any Republican would dislike Obama solely or primarily because he's black.

The irony to Hank's thought that Republicans are hate-mongering supremacists is that no one seems to recall the story of George Wallace, the former governor of Alabama during the 1960s.  He was the infamous man behind the effort to keep black students from attending the University of Alabama in September 1963 (you know, the part where Forrest Gump just followed a woman who had dropped her book while entering the school).  He fought with every breath to keep segregation in effect, and he was a Democrat.  Has everyone forgotten about this piece of history?

My biggest beef with Aaron's comments, as well as anyone with ethnic hate-mongering ideas, is the fundamental flaw with the concept of racism.  Maybe it's because I'm a simple-minded moderate conservative, but I can't help but think that people who have darker skin tones than me aren't a different race.  A different ethnicity, sure, but not a different race.  Whites, blacks, Asians, etc - we're all human beings.  A single race.  No one ethnicity is superior to any other.  It's classic Occam's Razor, and it doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.  I don't even know how such a simple concept came to be so convoluted and complicated, but it has.  If the mass public realized the concept of racism is a paradox, I think the idea of ethnic superiority would become a distant memory.