You'd think that a guy who is less than two months away from tying the knot would have better things to do than make sports predictions.
You'd be wrong. Priorities and such.
I only got one prediction right last year, that being Carson Palmer would call it quits. I got relatively close with the Jets having arguably the worst offense in the NFL, though the Browns said, "Oh no, allow us," and took over from there.
Since I'm not one to break tradition, here goes for the 9th - yes, 9th - straight year.
1. The Los Angeles Chargers will win the AFC West. I'm still getting used to referring to the Chargers as being from Los Angeles. Geography issues aside, it's easy to forget how close they came to winning the division last year despite starting the season 0-4. I don't expect them to start so slowly this year, with four of their first six games being very winnable. The only question is how packed will the StubHub Center be when the Chargers win the AFC West for first time since 2009.
2. Carson Wentz will struggle in his return from a torn ACL. There are just too many examples of quarterbacks whose first season back after tearing an ACL is below average at best. See Brady, Tom; Flacco, Joe; Palmer, Carson; and Griffin III, Robert. Griffin is pretty much a worst case scenario though since he hasn't played effectively since his rookie season in 2012. It's worth pointing out that the rest of those QBs did eventually recover (especially Brady), but their first seasons back were mostly about working through the cobwebs and getting comfortable with taking a hit again. Wentz was on his way to being league MVP last year before tearing his ACL, so he'll have to wait till at least 2019 before playing at an elite level again.
2(a). Ditto for DeShaun Watson. See above.
3. The San Francisco 49ers will be get one of the two Wild Cards in the NFC. The 49ers went 5-0 in their final five games of last season, largely because they got their first real QB since Colin Kaepernick's brief dominance in 2012. They also have a head coach and GM who are on the same page for what feels like the first time in over a decade. The NFL always has s couple upstart teams who take significant leaps forward from the previous season. The Cardinals and Seahawks are both going to be bad teams this year, so the 49ers have a great opportunity right in front of them.
4. The Cleveland Browns will give up at least 70 points in their first two games of the season. There's literally nowhere to go but up for the Browns after an 0-16 season last year. While they'll win a few games at least - which will feel like a Super Bowl championship for fans of the Factory of Sadness - they won't look so hot in their first two games of the season. They open at home versus the Steelers, and then they head to New Orleans in Week 2. That's two powerhouse offenses in the first two weeks, each of whom can put up at least 35 points on the Browns defense.
5. Eric Decker will catch at least 80 passes for the Patriots. The Patriots have this super weird and unique talent for turning white guys into productive wide receivers (I'm looking at you, Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman). It's worth pointing out that Decker has been very productive over the course of his career; he caught anywhere from 74 to 87 passes during his peak years of 2012-2015. He had only played in three games in 2016, and then bounced back a bit last year in Tennessee. In New England, he'll resurface as a favorite target for Tom Brady.
6. Stefon Diggs will be a top-5 wide receiver in the entire league. While we're talking wide receivers, Diggs had a breakout year last year for the Vikings and was the hero of the wild Divisional Round playoff game versus the Saints. This production came with Case Keenum playing at QB in 15 games, no less. Now that the Vikings have Kirk Cousins as their permanent QB, Diggs will be among the league leaders in both receiving yards and touchdowns.
7. The Buffalo Bills will score the fewest points in the league. Meanwhile, on the other end of the offensive spectrum, the Bills are starting their franchise over. They drafted the guy they hope to be their primary QB long term in Josh Allen who will have the likes of Kelvin Benjamin, Andre Holmes, Corey Coleman, Zay Jones, and Jeremy Curley for his receivers.
Ugh.
LeSean McCoy is still their primary running back, but he's 30 years old now. He may still be productive despite his age, but the elephant in the room is whether he'll be suspended for his ex-girlfriend accusing him of breaking into her home. He's an X factor for now, but opposing offenses could stuff him in the box since the wide receivers leave little to defend.
8. Kirk Cousins will be the league MVP. Getting back to more positive predictions, Kirk Cousins will really get an opportunity to show off what he can do with real talent around him like Dalvin Cook and the aforementioned Stefon Diggs. The Vikings will be one of the big dogs in the NFC again and will look to avenge the egg they had laid in last year's NFC Championship Game. They'll make the playoffs again, but they'll come up short yet again because....
9. The Los Angeles Rams will defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl 53. This matchup sounds like it comes from the 1970s. Fans of classic smash-mouth style football will salivate over a pair of teams like these, with stars like Todd Gurley, Aaron Donald, Brandin Cooks, Jared Goff, Cooper Kupp, Michael Brockers, Dominique Easley, Ndamukong Suh, and Marcus Peters taking the stage.
And that's just the Rams.
Add in Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown, David DeCastro, Joe Haden, Cameron Heyward, Juju Smith-Shuster, and Stephon Tuitt, and this game has all the makings of one of the great Super Bowls of all time.
Sean McVay will wind up having the last laugh and vault himself among the top coaches in the NFL as the Rams take home the Lombardi trophy in only their second season back in LA.
