I came across a blog post that listed the four things modern adult men should be able to do on their own. I've mentioned before how I get a kick out of posts on Cracked, especially their lists involving movies and TV shows. I don't read their social posts very often, but this post's headline caught my attention.
The natural question now becomes, can I do the four things listed in the post?
4. Build a Fire.
Yes, I can build a fire, but this should come with an asterisk. I don't think I'd be able to build a fire using only kindling and rocks in the woods, so if I was somehow lost on my own in the middle of nowhere you might as well plan my funeral. A bear would likely eat me before I'd survive long enough to last on my own prior to being rescued.
However, I can build a fire like most anyone else builds a fire today - through the use of starter logs. Give me a fireplace, some wood, a few pieces of kindling, a starter log, and a few matches and we'll be good to go. It probably wouldn't be safe to use to roast marshmallows or melt chocolate due to the chemicals in the starter log, but we'll still be safe and warm in the winter.
3. Run a Mile.
Mildly funny story: When I was in high school, my gym class had a conditioning training of sorts for all the students every spring. The teachers wanted to make sure the students were healthy enough to handle basic conditioning training, which included running a 7-minute mile. The course was one large oval-shaped path, and a mile would be four laps around the course. Our teacher told us anyone who couldn't complete a 7-minute mile had to run an extra lap.
I had to run an extra lap.
A couple days later I was talking about the run with a classmate in a separate computer programming class. She asked me what my running time was, and I said it was 9 1/2 minutes. Our computer teacher happened to be the track and field coach at our school, and when she overheard my running time she turned around and had a look of shock on her face. I had to shrug and admit the truth, and then said I wouldn't stand a chance in making the track team with a time like that. She laughed and got the joke.
I was eventually able to condition myself into running a 7-minute mile, but that was a very long time ago. I haven't timed myself in a very, very long time, but I can say at least I can run a mile using the bikes at the gym. I'm not sure how good that makes me look though.
2. Change a Flat Tire.
This I have done. I only did it once, so I had to learn as I went along, but a few years ago I had to come to the rescue after a friend of mine called me up in panic because she had a flat tire on the side of the highway. We had to work together in order to figure out how to swap the flat tire for the donut spare in her trunk, but we managed to do it properly. The toughest part by far was loosening the nuts on the tire in order to remove it. Either way, I can certainly do it again if there was a need for it in the future.
1. Dividing Up a Bill.
I'm not sure I understand why this is even on the list. What guy can't divide up a bill properly, especially if his cell phone has a calculator built into it? Maybe I'm just a numbers guy so dividing up a bill and calculating the tip properly comes naturally to me, but I rarely ever need a calculator to tally anything up.
I was actually surprised at some omissions on this list. There were a few things that I would think most adult men should be able to do that weren't on here. Things like....
Paint a room
Cook a full meal from scratch
Set up a TV entertainment center (TV, cable box, Blu Ray player, etc)
Know roughly how much cologne to wear at a given time
Fix basic plumbing problems, e.g. clogged or overflowing toilet*
Know how to dance*
*I need to learn how to do this.
What other basic skills have I missed?
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