Something Must Be in the Water

'Tis the season for breakups, apparently.

Since last fall, no fewer than five of my friends who had been in serious relationships of various lengths of time found themselves suddenly single.  They included, but not limited to, my ex-roommate, my new roommate, one of my closest buddies (who has quickly become my wingman and vice versa), and the latest addition the list, that being another buddy of mine who was supposed to get married last fall.  Unfortunately he lost his job and had to push back wedding plans until sometime in 2014.  This past weekend I found out he and his fiance had been dealing with issues for the past two months, and officially called it off earlier this month.

What is going on here, exactly?

I've never been in a circle of friends where so many breakups happened in such a short period of time.  There's an element of solidarity to appreciate in knowing I'm not the only one who's had to deal with a longterm relationship suddenly crumble, but there's only so much solace to take from that.  A pat on the back and a "Hey things will get better," feels phony and cliche after a while.

Only recently have I come to terms with my breakup and gotten to the point where I'm ready to starf dating again.  There's no specific lass on the horizon or anything yet, but my therapist has worked with me fairly extensively over the last couple months in helping me address my areas of weakness so I'm better prepared for when I do meet someone.

Still, it's amazing to think that so many relationships could end in a fairly short period of time.  It also put things in perspective for me because as much as I had griped to myself and vented to my therapist over how I had to restart my entire life all over again, I realized my problems were fairly simple and quickly resolved compared to some of my friends and their breakups.  For instance, my buddy who was engaged has a house with his now-ex, so they have to settle ownership of that house and who has to move out.  That's way more stressful than anything I went through last year.

There is relief in knowing that my circle of friends is tight enough that we've all been there to pick each other back up.  That goes for both those of us who had been through the breakups, as well as those who didn't have to deal with a relationship ending.  I've always been grateful for my friends, but I think three years ago when I had lost my job my eyes were really opened to just how lucky I am to have them.  The last six months or so has been a reminder to me of how good a group they are, even if they have a little too much liquor in their systems on a given night.

Maybe that's how I can pay things forward.  I hope that I can help pick up one of my friends when they're down or dealing with some kind of stress with an ex.  Life won't slow down at all after a breakup even though many of us may need a breather (which I surely did), and that's when a friend can lend a helping hand the most.